My Breakfast Platter

Amy and Mike Update for 2011

2011-12-23T11:12:00.006-07:00

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy Blue Panda December.

What's up with Amy and Mike? Well, I am happy to report that we have had a fun and happy year. We bought a house and Amy started teaching second grade. Mike has been learning some new programming tools. But enough boring junk.

The very exciting news is that we have become a formidable team, vanquishing enemies on the planets of Korriban, Dromund Kaas, and Balmorra. Although still young Sith, we have already demolished many of the enemies of the Empire, including a few weak and brittle-minded Jedi. With the help of our companions, Vette and Khem Val, we have yet to face an enemy that we cannot defeat.

Mike, a Sith Inquisitor, has learned the dark healing arts of Sith sorcery. Amy, a Sith Juggernaut, is a warrior who takes the brunt of all assaults. We each have our own starship and we're saving our money for our own speeders.

May each of you dominate your enemies with skill, and may the force be with you.

Love, Amy and Mike

p.s. Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

Be Brave and Be Kind

2011-12-10T10:35:00.004-07:00

My class of second graders is full of some of the most delightful humans I know. For many reasons. They are curious and adventurous and loving. They are excited about learning and exploring and simply being. Do you remember this story from a few years ago? This very small child pulled several of his classmates out from the earthquake rubble at his school. Many of the young children I know would probably do the same thing if they were put in the same situation. I want a kind and brave heart like that, too. I am grateful I am surrounded by little humans that teach me a wonderful and happy way of being in our world.

Merry December

2011-12-04T23:11:00.003-07:00

The whole entire month of December is a Blue Panda holiday called Eat, Play, Love. Here is what pandites do in December:

Honor the religious and cultural traditions that you like best and that you want to keep in circulation. We put up a Christmas tree today and we are definitely participating in some family gatherings and gift exchanges.

If you enjoy eating and sharing yummy food, then cook and bake. Share some cookies if you feel like it. Eat every last cookie yourself if you prefer.

Invent some new holiday traditions. Have cold cereal for breakfast Christmas morning if you don't want the extra stress of cooking. Go all Martha Stewart for Christmas morning breakfast if you want an excuse to try fancypants entertaining. Eat, Play, Love is always about creating a season of joy and you know yourself best so you must decide what to celebrate and how.

Some ideas of mine: I want to read the same book as family I'll be seeing so we can share responses. Get a professional massage. Write Blue Panda a letter. Find a Zumba Party on Christmas Eve. Watch a favorite funny movie, like Elf. Have a poker night. Have at least 3 full days with nothing planned except be with Mikey. Bake cookies.

What are your favorite old traditions and what are some ideas you have to make your December perfect for you?

Five Ways to Adore Blue Panda

2011-12-03T12:34:00.002-07:00

1. Cultivate self-awareness, compassion, humility and balance in your life.
2. Love What Is.
3. Remember that nothing, ever, is a big deal.
4. Take good care of yourself. Daily doses of laughter, music, and movement are good ways to do this.
5. Be full of peaceful love and joy.

A Blue December

2011-12-02T17:21:00.001-07:00

This December I will post a lot about the blue panda (god) and love and joy. When I was 14, despite my doubts, I wanted to be a seminary teacher, or a prophet. I get to be so many of the things that I always wanted to be when I am at school. For example, every work day I am an artist and a scientist and a clown. But this is a better place for me to channel the divine spirit of the universe and be a prophet.

Question: Is the blue panda real?

Answer: Of course not. I made this whole theology up as a way to explain to my best mate what it is that I believe. But if you feel like imagining a gentle, enormous panda that knows and loves all the humans with perfect love, and that embodies the EVERYTHING that is our universe, including her countless mysteries, then YES!! the panda god exists---in your imagination, too!

November Joys

2011-11-12T14:25:00.003-07:00

iPad

My second graders are learning to read and write well, which I imagine as my darling brood of dragons all learning how to fly. It's much harder for some of them, but all dragons must fly.

Sugar. Powerful words from a blue panda prophetess.

It is cozy and wonderful in our little home. The nasty weather makes it extra nice to have a warm bed and a crock pot.

Mikey

Scrivener

I love teaching second grade so much. My biggest stress right now is that there are too many happy futures to choose from.

So. Much. Fun.

2011-11-12T13:50:00.001-07:00

Ahhhh

2011-11-12T13:48:00.001-07:00

Blogging from my iPad. Experimenting. Fun.

Little Dragons

2011-08-25T16:51:00.012-06:00

I'm loving second grade. The kids are so eager and loving.

I feel overloaded with new questions and new information. My brain can't STOP processing all of the data. Several things I planned are working like magic, but there are some other things I've got to change. I feel such an urgent desire to set things up well, so that we can have a peaceful and productive nine months together.

Ten specific thoughts after 3 days of teaching second grade:

1. Eating lunch with the kids is a wonderful way to spend 15 minutes a day. I'm getting more little individual bonding moments in the cafeteria than anywhere else so far.

2. The Shrinky Dink self-portrait magnets for our Daily Graph turned out darling. Now I gotta think of 175 more questions to ask for the year. Our first question was, "Which do you like more, cats or dogs?" Suggestions?

3. The book they enjoyed the most so far was an Elephant and Piggie book called "Should I Share My Icecream?"

4. I can't ever go younger than 2nd. They are far more independent than the first graders that we share the hall with, and I'm certain I'm at my lower age limit here.

5. Getting them to write independently has been a struggle. Most of them have a lot to say but they want to spell everything right. I haven't put up a word wall yet. Maybe that will help. I'm not sure how to get them to spell words the best that they can and just keep writing.

6. We've done skip counting by 2's around a circle everyday and I'm surprised how hard it's been for several of them.

7. I'm puzzling over what to use for a paper and pencil math fact memorization tool, and also what to do for math homework.

8. The CAFE and Daily 5 routines and strategy wall is part of what is working super well.

9. There are these K-2 teachers from Georgia and Texas, who were probably beauty queens in college, who make and sell adorable teaching resources on the Teachers Pay Teachers website. I love having cute pictures and stuff in my room, but I'm horrible at making such things. Paying some teacher across the country 3 bucks for an adorable classroom job chart makes me ever so grateful for the miracle of the interwebs.

10. A free download on that Teachers Pay Teachers site was a chart with 16 ways to say goodbye. As we say goodbye each day we do a "hug, high-five or handshake" and say one of these fun animal goodbyes. My favorite ones: Blow a kiss, jellyfish; Out the door, dinosaur; Give a hug, ladybug; and Toodle-loo, kangaroo.

Summer 2011 Gratitudes

2011-06-28T11:57:00.002-06:00

1. Allrecipes.com
2. the chance to create a Magical Learning Planet for second graders
3. Summer Vacation
4. our house and yard and garden
5. red rock slot canyons near Moab
6. the proximity of the Wasatch Mountains
7. Lisa and David and Tina and Lydia coming to UT soon
8. Amanda and her soon-to-be-born baby's good health
9. colors
10. music
11. Zumba
12. Centerville 4th of July 5 K
13. both of my house plants are still alive
14. the cookbook mom gave me last month
15. Mikey's love
16. Elephants
17. picture books
18. Great Harvest bread
19. the loving life force of the universe, aka blue panda
20. puppies
21. my dragon form
22. summer sunshine
23. my kitchen and central air and a washer and dryer
24. jeans and tank tops
25. a calm and peaceful heart

Blue Panda Holy Writings, Chapter 2

2011-06-17T13:17:00.002-06:00

1. Sing and pray in gratitude often and also petition the universe for more self awareness and for a strong and peaceful heart.

2. Here is one of the most powerful prayers humans have ever uttered:

Dear Blue Panda (or God, or Universe, or whatever),
Grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

3. There is a Blue Panda addition to this golden prayer of serenity and change: Dear Blue Panda, Please also grant me the humor to laugh at the things that I hate but cannot change and the creativity and imagination to see all the things I can change, especially my own beliefs and thoughts.

Amen

Book Club Picks

2011-06-05T09:23:00.005-06:00

Dear Steve, Margie, and Elizabeth,

Here is a list of books that I would recommend you guys consider for book clubs and possibly for whole class read aloud sets:

Shooting the Moon, by Frances O'Roark Dowell.
This book got a lot of buzz but I didn't read it for a while after it came out cuz it didn't look that fabulous. It's about a girl who gets pictures in the mail from her brother who is fighting in Vietnam. It's about her relationships with some soldiers and her father, The Colnel. Pretty short book and easy text, but quite rich---lots of inferring and some background knowledge required. Content is fine for fifth graders or sixth graders. I really enjoyed it and think it would be a great pick for book clubs.

Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie, by Jordan Sonnenblick
This is a story told in first person, rather like a diary, of an eighth-grade boy with a kindergarten little brother who gets diagnosed with leukemia. Funny, sad, honest. I read this out loud this year and my sixth grade class LOVED it. It's more sixth-grade-ish, cuz the main character talks about the "hot" girl he likes looking at and there's some serious adolescent angst with his parents. But at the heart of the whole thing is his love for his little brother and there is nothing inappropriate for any kid to read. If you don't get this for a whole class book, at least get a guided reading set for sixth graders.

Out of My Mind, by Sharon Draper
Melody, the main character and narrator of this book, has a photographic memory and is super smart, but she also has cerebral palsy and cannot speak. She has spent most of her schooling in a self-contained special ed class, but she gets a speech computer, like Stephen Hawking has, and starts interacting with some of the "normal" kids at her school. There are a few cruel girls, which kept the book very real, but Melody is STRONG, and sometimes very funny. I read this out loud to my class this year and many kids listed it as their favorite book of the whole year. Melody is such an incredible and believable character and there are excellent themes about understanding disabilities and not judging people and having the courage to get to know people who look and act "weird". The paperback for this doesn't come out until January of 2012, but I'd say it's definitely worth saving some money for.

Diamond Willow, Helen Frost
A novel told in poems, a lot like Out of the Dust, although a little bit easier. The main character and narrator is a twelve-year-old girl who loves being around her sled dogs more than her peers. Her dad is Anglo and her mom is American Indian. The setting is contemporary, in a remote part of Alaska. When one of her dogs is seriously injured and she doesn't think her parents will save him, she takes her one best friend and sets out on a perilous trip to her grandparents' home. There is also an interesting mystery about her own birth. This would be excellent for fifth or sixth graders and the dogs and survival stuff would probably get the boys drawn into the story as well.

Elvis and Olive, by Stephanie Watson
Perfect for fifth grade girls--about two girls who become friends and have a secret hide-out and who go around spying on people. In the end their friendship is tested by their own reckless choices, but they learn to respect people's privacy and to mend their friendship. Really true to the girls' ages and it reminded me (in good ways) of Harriet the Spy.

The Outlandish Adventures of Liberty Aimes, by Kelly Easton
I blogged about this one here. Super fun, great for fifth or sixth graders, and it just came out in paperback.

Touch Blue, by Cynthia Lord
Here is what I wrote about this one, by the same author as Rules. Similar level and complexity, but it isn't out in paperback yet.

Have fun spending your money and make sure to read as many of the books as you can before assigning your students to read them. :) And please let me know your favorite picture and early chapter book choices!

Fun News

2011-05-14T15:05:00.003-06:00

Most of the time when I happen upon a high ledge I peer over the edge, feel my tummy drop, and take a solid step back. But sometimes I fold out my wings, vigorously shake up their magic sparkles, and then I JUMP.

I requested and have been graciously given the chance to teach second grade next year. I'm very excited and also nervous.

There are many variables that led to this big jump, including the fact that I have enough storage space in our new house for all of my upper grade teaching materials. Heck, there's enough space in our garage!

My head is overflowing with second-grade questions. What books will they love? How do you fuel their desire to read? Will they get my Chuck Norris jokes? What will I do if they try to wipe their noses on me? Will teaching math still be as much fun? How am I going to stay within a reasonable budget of personal money spent on my new classroom? Is it possible to teach them to be self-directed? Which of my well-developed teaching skills will transfer well, and which ones will I need to recalibrate for much smaller children?

Anyway, that's my news. Feel free to recommend good books for 7 and 8 year olds.

blue panda scriptures

2011-04-09T08:36:00.016-06:00

Blue panda is my name for god these days. We constantly converse, the blue panda and I. For real. My brain observes, questions, interprets, and judges things, and I imagine this giant, beautifully animated, panda-god responding. Usually he just laughs, sometimes with me, sometimes at me. His big panda tummy shakes up and down. Sometimes he stops laughing and he whispers insights and understandings and helpful ways of thinking about things. In the last few months I've passed along some of this blue panda wisdom and some people have found it so helpful that they forwarded it on throughout the interwebs!

Book of Blue Panda
Chapter 1, Verses 1-5

1. Our human brains and our broken hearts have a strong need to make sense of things. We are desperate to understand everything that happens, especially when we are in a lot of pain. And so we create stories about the past. We label ourselves and we label other humans. There is nothing wrong with being human and many of our interpretations and stories and labels are valid. But it helps to be aware of our tendency to interpret the past and then believe that our interpretations and our stories are what "really" happened.

2. In the past, some stuff happened. Maybe your partner had an affair or maybe you lost custody of your children. But watch how fast and how much like a strong reflex you turn those factual events into huge, significant stories. "If only we had gone to counseling." "If only I had been someone different." "She never loved me and doesn't know how much I loved her." "I was an awful parent." And then we give everyone, including ourselves labels, like "broken" and "unlovable" and "not good enough" and "ex-rat-bastard-jerk-face."

3. Set all of these beliefs and stories and labels on this imaginary kitchen table right here. All of these stories are NOT TRUE. They are your extremely biased and completely self-serving interpretations of the past. All together they form an epic piece of historical fiction, starring you, the tragic martyr, the lonely super-hero, and the dark super-villain. Pure fiction. Yes, some stuff happened, but in attempting to understand it and in order to feel that you can exercise control of things in the future, you have made up some stories and you have come to believe many things (about yourself, about other individuals, and about humankind in general) that are pure hogwash.

4. Don't try to stop yourself from interpreting and understanding things. Just be aware that you're doing it and be aware that there is a large distance between all of the random, benign, infinitely complex and incomprehensible stuff that happens, and your deliciously alluring set of interpretations and beliefs. You have created stories that you use to understand your past and these are the stories that you will use to shape and limit your future.

5. Dust off your imagination and think about how it would feel to let any unkind or stressful stories, interpretations, and beliefs go. Imagine letting them float up off this kitchen table and disperse into nothing. What really happened? Nothing that means anything cruel or significant or even noteworthy about anyone or anything.

Little and Big Gratitudes

2011-03-20T14:12:00.008-06:00

A blog that I frequen t that is focused primarily on picture books makes space every Sunday for readers to list seven gratitudes. My seven for this week:

Modernity. That whole situation in Japan is tragic and scary and sad. And it could have been so much worse if Tokyo wasn't full of buildings designed to withstand earthquakes. I am grateful for modern medical science and food science and strict building codes and for the complex web of global interdependency that gives me nutritious foods to choose from and protection from most of the diseases and hardships that most humans that have inhabited this planet have had to endure. Not to mention washing machines and pressure cookers and hot water on demand for hot baths and showers.
Philosophers. I like puzzling over human behaviors, motivations, and the mysteries of the universe and I recently enjoyed reading The Happiness Myth by the brilliant contemporary philosopher Jennifer Michael Hecht.
A quiet home. Well, to be honest, we can hear loud noises from the gym down on the bottom floor. But what I'm grateful for is that my best mate hates TV as much as I do, so we don't have an incessant, annoying background noise in our home.
Weekends.
Shared dreams. My best mate and I don't have any elaborate life goals, just a simple and modest plan. We are going to buy a house and enjoy living together until we become old geezers. And then we are going to enjoy being old geezers together. About one month ago I realized how incredibly good it felt to have this shared dream, but then I immediately felt terrified, because WHAT IF OUR DREAM GETS INCINERATED? But then I remembered that we've been happy together for almost two years and that we're both pretty self-aware and that you can't know anything for certain, but that we've built this relationship on things that last, like a solid friendship, and honesty and compatible senses of fun and humor. And so now most of the fear is gone and I'm grateful that we plan to have a happy, peaceful future, together.
Spring
A decent raiding guild.

Friday Five

2011-02-18T14:50:00.004-07:00

1. Right now is the blast-off of a four day weekend. Wednesday and Thursday were Parent Teacher Conferences, which were good, but I'm ready to not work for a few days.

2. Tomorrow we are looking at seven houses. Maybe we'll like one or two of them.

3. Incarceron has been a fabulous book club book that more than half of my class is loving.

4. Words With Friends is now on Android phones. More competitors=more winning=more fun.

5. My "Bar Modeling" math project is winding down and has been an exciting, positive adventure. I only wish I'd taught this to all of my previous classes of fifth and sixth grade students.

2011

2011-01-08T13:26:00.020-07:00

About a month ago we watched the movie Julie and Julia. I couldn't stand the thirty-something blogger. She was a self-absorbed, navel-gazing whiner. At least half of my strong negative reaction to this movie character, I recognize, was because she was a nice shiny mirror. OHHH SNNAAPPPP!

But I guess if people want to read my teaching reflections and inner dialogs and attempts at poetry, I enjoy writing them and that's reason enough not to quit or delete this entire blog. My birthday is coming up soon. And it's a brand new year. To celebrate both, a gratitude list:

1. Work. I had two splendid weeks off. I was not looking forward to going back to work after all that relaxing down time. I thought about getting up early and being on my feet all day and not being at home. Monday morning, however, when all 15 of my students were sitting bright eyed in their chairs, and we picked right up where we left off, I remembered how much I love teaching. I love the kids and I love the challenge of structuring lessons and organizing our time in ways that encourage them to construct and retain new knowledge. I like being in charge of a community and setting the tone for our social interactions. I cherish the individual relationships I build with my students. It's challenging and fulfilling work and having work that I love is simply wonderful.

2. My siblings. Over the Christmas break, the five of us were all together for the first time in over two years. We have so much inside humor and shared history and gentle teasing that it's hard for our partners or even our parents and cousins to completely keep up. We laugh and joke and poke and tumble around like the little cubs we once were. One of my dearest wishes is that one or two of them that live out of state will someday move back to Utah.

3. My parents. I'm grateful that they still love each other and that they take good care of each other. I'm grateful for how much support they've given me in the last two years and I'm grateful for every single thing they did that made me who I am.

4. Mikey. We make each other smile and laugh often. We enjoy doing many of the same things and have many shared beliefs. He is kind and generous and sexy and extremely honest. When people want to know what's going on with me and this Mike guy, I don't always know what exactly to say. We might start looking for a house soon, but we already have a loving home. We are creating and enjoying our own version of Happily Ever After. When I consider all the fears and trauma and loss of the last two years and then look at what the universe has given me in the form of this relationship, I feel an overpowering need to either laugh or cry in pure gratitude. It's like God keeps whispering, "I told you to trust me....." I both hope and predict that we will be happy together for a long, long time.

5. My body. I do my best to eat well and to exercise regularly. I go through cycles when I'm better at being healthy than other times, but I'm pretty good at keeping myself fit. Exercise feels good and summiting mountains feels amazing. I lost over 50 pounds two years ago and I've done a good job of maintaining my current weight. I feel good about how I look and I feel great about my level of physical fitness. Yes, I still have some insecurities and I have a few New Year's resolutions, including a bikini diet, but regardless of how I do in the next 12 weeks, I'm very grateful for my physical health and for a strong, fit body.

6. Friends and colleagues. I have several close friends who are also my coworkers. It's not just the work and the kids that I get to enjoy everyday at school, it's also Gwen and Steve and Cindy and Margie and our new principal, and Mike Harman, and all the other teachers and aides and our janitor and lunch lady. I'm grateful to be part of what our new boss refers to as "The Washington Family."

7. Blue Panda. That's my name, these days, for the all-loving spirit of the universe. I don't really have any idea who or what is ultimately in charge or if there is a consciousness that governs everything, but I do FEEL that beneath and between and inside and among all other parts of our universe there is also a LOVE that is larger and also more quiet than our capacity to understand. I believe that our imaginations are tools that are meant to be creatively employed to reach toward that love. And so, dear Blue Panda, thank you for this moment, and for the words to make meaning of things, and for the delicious and energizing panda-power that may come from an inner source or may come from somewhere outside of me, (although I am pretty sure that this distinction does not matter). Thank you. Yes. Thank you.

Memorial

2010-11-12T17:05:00.004-07:00

A student of mine was hit by a car when she was riding her bike to school a week ago Thursday. She did not survive the accident.

Friday morning I sat in a circle with all the sixth graders and told them what happened. We shared many tears and memories. I attended her funeral on Tuesday.

Today we watched a beautiful movie with pictures of Heather that my principal created. Holy macaroni, that kid had a wonderful smile. A whole face and whole body smile. Some of us wrote her goodbye letters and we also wrote some specific memories to share with her family. After, we went outside and let go of 40 yellow balloons. I did my best to communicate to my students the message whispered into my own hurting heart: Love her. Love her, and let her go.

I've always enjoyed how teachers wear many hats. We are clowns, anthropologists, nurses, and social workers. At times, I've learned this week, we are also ministers. We hold the fragile, broken hearts of innocent children. We give them comfort and we help them create meaning from deep, deep sorrow. I was worried I wouldn't know exactly what to say to my sixth graders last Friday, or how to honor Heather today. But I think I did okay. We are all doing okay.

A few things I loved and enjoyed most about Heather. She was brave enough to always be herself. She would introduce herself to new students, she would talk openly about whatever was on her mind, and she didn't hesitate to show that she genuinely cared about people. Her sense of humor was mature and quirky and fun. And those radiant, generous, expressive smiles. My favorite was her mischievous smile. I can't help but laugh remembering it. Thank you, Heather, for being you, and for being part of my class this year.

Classroom Beginnings in 2010

2010-09-11T09:15:00.015-06:00

This school year has started off well. I have 19 adorable sixth grade students. And a fabulous new principal. And a dedicated and funny and loyal and smart sixth grade teaching partner. And many colleagues that are also my close friends. Cross your fingers and petition the universe on my behalf please--I don't want to combine our two sixth grade classes into one or anything else drastic because of our small class sizes.

My heart and mind are far more calm and focused on teaching than they have been for the last two years. That whole divorce and custody battle and learning to trust another human with my heart again was a rough, frightening journey. I wasn't a horrible teacher for the last two years, and I had lots of support from people at school and from my family at home. But I am so much better at teaching when my heart and mind are at peace. I was a little worried last year that I needed to change professions or go back to school or something. But right now I feel what I've felt most of my teaching career: that I hope I get to do this wonderful work for the rest of my working life. This is where where I belong---in a classroom, with children, brewing magic learning elixirs.

Some of the best reading highlights of the first 3 weeks:

I've used many ideas from Igniting a Passion for Reading, a professional book that I read over the summer. The books is full of specific ways to create a book-loving classroom culture. I have a giant chart on the wall with my own reading log. I am doing book talks every day. I've had my students write very specific and personal goals for the number and genre of books they want to read by the end of October. We had a "Back to Books" party last Friday. I taught them how to preview books. I do a "status of the class" check in on their independent reading almost every day. I'm getting to know each of their tastes and reading interests.

The guided reading group (aka Book Clubs) part of my reading instruction this year is going to look a little different. Everyone's "job" is to read assigned book selections and short stories, to record several observations, questions, and ideas, and to share this thinking with their groups when they meet on Thursdays. I'm having them use sticky notes that they code with the category of the responses. They refer back to these when they have their Thursday discussions. Their responses to the short story we read as a whole class this week were amazing, but I haven't figured out how to get them to be more brave about sharing all of their amazing ideas with me and with each other. After a rather disappointing whole class discussion I read through all of their sticky notes and I was stunned to see tons of thoughtful responses. Open ended questions, astute observations. Lots of great responses that I hadn't though of when I read the story. I read a bunch of these responses to them and teased them about being such big chickens. They laughed and I am actually confident that they will be more brave and generous with one another as more and more time goes by.

Here is the coded sticky note system that I'm hoping will generate thoughtful responses and discussions:

N-NICE! (scenes, sentences, descriptions--any part of the text that makes you say WOW!)
F-strong Feeling
Q-Question
A-dialog with the Author

They write the letter and a few words or a sentence to remind themselves of their question, observation, or idea. (This also is a nice record for me to see how they're doing.)

The final reading highlight from our first three weeks is the novel Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. This has been such a great read aloud to start off the year. I don't get super preachy with my students very often, but there are moments in this book when I can tell them exactly why I'm so passionate about books. Great books can teach us how to LIVE, how to live with integrity and love and courage. And books can also help us figure out who we are and what to do when scary things happen that are beyond our control. And what to do about imperfect parents and complicated friendships. These are urgent issues for 12-year-olds and I don't believe in Final Answers to such big questions, but I do believe we can learn how to be more thoughtful and aware, and this alone can help us live more peaceful and joyful lives.

The Outlandish Adventures of Liberty Aimes

2010-08-15T08:48:00.006-06:00

This book is a sparkling jewel. The narrative voice is funny and distinct, a lot like Lemony Snickett, but less pompous and less grating. The plot is a lot like Roald Dahl, with completely outlandish and impossible events and talking mutant animals and magic elixirs. Yet the narrator and the main character Liberty are both somehow compelling enough that these impossibilities are easy to imagine and believe.

Liberty has two super awful parents and the only way she has managed to cope with their abuse is by reading her way through a library of books that she found hidden in her house. Although he is pure evil, her father is also a "friggin genuis". Liberty manages to escape from her parents by breaking into her father's secret laboratory and drinking some of his potions. She has never been outside of her house and must use her own incredible wits and her new friendships in order to avoid capture.

One of the potions that she steals lets her talk with animals. She befriends a street cat and a pigeon. The other potion makes her float up into the sky. In addition to the animals she also makes a couple of human friends as she searches for a private school that she read about once, where she imagines she will finally be happy. I can think of lots and lots of kids who would enjoy reading this book.

today I am listening to my own sermon....

2010-07-02T12:21:00.015-06:00

A little over a year ago I did everything I could to end the raging and bitter war that was my divorce. I had "won" in court two times, but there was nothing sweet about those victories. My three adopted daughters had become the casualties of our selfish fight. All three of them were under huge amounts of pressure to fight against me. As soon as I realized that there might be a way to give my girls back some peace, I gave my ex full physical custody and agreed to pay child support. We have joint legal custody, which means that I have visitation rights. There was nothing easy about giving up custody. The pain of that loss knocked me all the way to the ground on more than one occasion. Thank the universe that the ground is such a solid place to fall, and that I've had more than one good soul get down there and let me cry in their arms.

Sometimes I still hate the whole situation. My relationship with my girls has changed a lot. I think part of my stress, even though it hasn't been at a very conscious level, has been about how far from any recognizable "ideal" or traditional "role" I have with them now. I don't have enough say about any important decisions to be called their parent. And I'm pretty sure they don't even think of me as "family".

But then today I remembered to apply that beautiful God is Love theology to my own life. My joy is most full when I am doing my best to love. It doesn't need to get all complicated. If I just do my very best to love my girls, who really cares how we label our relationship? They are these three complex but essentially good humans that the universe has given me to love and that's what I'm gonna keep on doing. Whenever and however I can. It is what it is and it isn't anything worth hating or stressing over. True, the money is a lot. It's way too much for me to be paying someone who made it clear to everyone, especially my girls, that I am not their mom. But at the end of everything, it's just money, and they need it more than I do. Between frequent visits with my girls, quiet days of solitude, and weekends and evenings with my best mate, there is nothing but countless and limitless moments for me to feel lots of love and peace and joy.

Mike Rose's Words for New Teachers

2010-06-30T09:27:00.006-06:00

Some inspiring words written by Mike Rose for new teachers. It's a nice read for older teachers as well. Yes, I recognize that I'm getting kinda old. (Wise! Experienced!) I've found that despite feeling more confident in my practice and having tons of experiences and ideas to draw from, it's the fire and passion that are sometimes missing these days. It's not just a given like it was my first few years in a classroom. I am quite excited for this upcoming year though. New people, new possibilities, and a group of students that I already know and love.

Deep Down in a Writing Cave

2010-06-25T13:59:00.012-06:00

I'm chasing a neon purple dragon around in a dark underground labyrinth. Okay, fine. What I'm really doing is working away on a fantasy novel that has been simmering in my imagination for a long while. It's pretty scary down here in this first draft labyrinth. I'm not sure that my writing can capture the characters and the story very well, but I do believe that it has the potential to be a very fun and very good story.

Word goal today: 2,000
Current progress: 1,486

I'm enjoying the work, and trying to keep at it, even when I get wobbly.

A thought for today about the tao of being mormon: I think the most valuable thing I get from having some taoist ways of looking at religion is that I don't get at all stressed or care that much about whether or not religious ideas are true. All religious thinking, for me, is a lot like listening to good music or reading good fiction. I don't think it's likely that there is a man in the sky somewhere who created everything and who will one day judge us. In fact, I find this proposition just about as preposterous as the proposition that there is a tribe of holy purple pandas in the sky that sit around making jokes about all of us silly, sorry humans.

But, even though I don't see any convincing evidence pointing to the existence of a higher holy being, I do adore the story of a Grandfather God (how I usually refer to and think of the Mormon God). I even pray to him sometimes. It's very similar to another story I love, the story of the magical powers that keep me extra warm whenever I wear the blue scarf that my grandma crocheted. In fact, there's a chance that that particular scarf actually makes me physically more warm because I really do believe that my grandma's love was stitched into it. And a mere awareness of being surrounded by grandma-love probably has very real physical manifestations. Many religious stories give me similar kinds of comfort and hope. Yeh, they are just stories, of course. But which of all the bazillion thoughts and beliefs that I hold so dear are anything but stories? And those purple pandas, with their big kind eyes and soft fur and jiggly bellies, when I imagine them laughing at my self-pity, and my frustratingly human need to be in complete control of everything all the time, how can I help but laugh at myself too?

Marriage and Other Acts of Charity

2010-06-24T10:50:00.019-06:00

This is Kate Braestrup's second memoir. Her first, Here If You Need Me, was also very good. Kate is a minister for the Maine wildlife wardens. (I want an exact job like this when I retire from teaching.) Kate was a radical feminist in her 20's, was a widowed parent of four in her 30's, and was brave enough to marry again in her 40's. She articulates a theology in both of her books that I find very appealing. God is love. No more, no less. And our job as humans is to love. We are to be as loving as we can be, for as long as we are able. Period. Simple. But never very easy, of course.

I often remember this one Saturday, a little over a year ago, before I lost custody of my girls. My 11-year-old daughter, Easter, had spent enough Saturdays at my mom's house to know all about "Saturday Jobs". (On those same Saturdays my dad also taught my girls about organized labor.) But on this Saturday we were living back in our own house. We were just relaxing and talking about our plans for the day. We were curled up on my bed with our darling kitten named TJ. When she suddenly started to realize that I might be about to follow my mom's example and assign her some Saturday Jobs Easter fiercely declared, "MY ONLY JOB IS TO LOVE TJ!!!"

Me too, Easter. My only job is to love---to love you and your sisters, to love my students, to love the very kind man that I am sharing my life with, and to even love my enemies and my ex-husband. Although, thank-the-universe, Kate says we are not required to like everyone. But then what does this kind of love even mean? Just that we have a deep desire for others to be happy and whole; to have a sincere hope that they are able to live in peaceful joy. And that we use all of our relationships to become more and more compassionate and understanding and patient. All of which becomes a wise and gentle love that we can offer to our own stumbling selves as well.

My own theology and understanding of love and God are connected to two distinct spiritual traditions. Mormonism and Taoism. I would like to keep writing about how I weave these two starkly contrasting paths together. Starting tomorrow. /smile

Summer Fun

2010-06-18T16:25:00.005-06:00

I'm cooking up a fiesta of Mexican cuisine this evening. There is no occasion. I just love good food and it's a nice way to bring together many of my favorite people. And it's summer! We can eat outside. And, HELL, I've got nothing else going on these days. HA HA HA. Isn't teaching a fabulous profession? Seriously friends, summer vacation is a part of the annual teaching cycle that I'm learning to relish more each year.

Touch Blue is the title of a very lovely little book I just finished. It would be a fast read for lots of sixth graders, but has complex themes about wishing and about what makes people a family, and about luck. The setting was an island up in Maine with a family with a dad who is a lobster fisherman. Cool stuff. I don't think this book is officially published yet, but Lisa, my librarian sister, has come through again with two full boxes of great books that she has bequeathed to me and my classroom. Thanks sis!

Soothing Voices

2010-05-08T08:59:00.010-06:00

When I was small my mom would read books to me before I went to sleep. I'm sure she did. But I don't have distinct memories of the particular books. I have vague memories of some well read picture books, including one about a penguin who goes off on his own and lives on a sunny beach. When I was a bit older she read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy to my younger brothers. I wonder what she read to me and up to what age. I have a feeling that she may have read at least parts of The Hobbit, and Charlotte's Web to me and my sister. But I'm not sure. Just because these events are outside my conscious memory, though, doesn't stop them them from shaping the person I've become. A reader, of course. But also a person who can get through physical ailments with the soothing sounds of just about any American voice reading or talking. (I can't do British audio books. I don't understand or have a working theory on why. I just can't.)

I fell off a chair and broke both my elbows four years ago. The first 48 hours after that accident were very painful. I got through some of the worst hours by listening to audio books. The sound of another voice telling a story carries my mind away from whatever pain or stress I'm experiencing and gently eases me into a restful sleep. Last night I was in the worst part of a cold I've been fighting for a couple days. I was congested and achy and restless. But I was able to relax and sleep by listening to two Speaking of Faith podcasts.

Even though I don't have detailed or specific memories, I'm glad my mom planted the seeds of this easy and effective way for me to deal with physical pain and stress. And I'm glad there are so many options available these days to find such a wide variety of audio books and programs.

Buttermilk Pancakes

2010-04-25T09:48:00.002-06:00

I've made these enough to confidently say I've got the recipe down. It's pretty simple, but makes for some reliably delicious hot cakes.

1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
3/8 tsp salt

Mix all these dry ingredients together with a fork in a big mixing bowl. In a separate bowl mix the wet ingredients.

1 1/2 cups buttermilk
1/4 cup milk
2 eggs
2 1/2 tablespoons melted butter

Heat the griddle. Just before you're ready to start cooking the pancakes, dump the mixed wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir a few times with a wooden spoon. Don't stir too much. The batter will look rather lumpy. That's a good sign.

Cook until golden brown on each side. Serve with maple syrup, apple butter, bacon, orange juice and eggs.

Small Actions

2010-03-26T20:15:00.006-06:00

I sent my students off this weekend with an assignment straight from Nancie Atwell's "Lessons That Change Writers". Their job? Notice 20 small actions that could be poetry seeds. I collected a couple of great ones during school today. My favorite: Zoe grinned with satisfaction when I finished the mini-lesson by announcing that I was headed right at this moment to my writers notebook to record some of my small moment butterflies before they got away. Her grin and little chuckle were more than enough, but she also wrote down MY exact words in her Small Moments list.

Faeries of Dreamdark

2010-03-14T15:53:00.005-06:00

I am a hobbit loving fantasy freak. I inhabit a world that my active and powerful imagination is constantly filling with magical creatures and stories. I am currently in the process of writing an alien/sorcery adventure. Yet--I rarely come across new fantasy books that I truly enjoy. Even Harry Potter didn't kindle much of a flame for me.

Lo and behold! I am only on page 99 of the first book in this series, but the hook in my reading mind is already set deep. The tug of being reeled through this world and story is a steady and wonderous pleasure.

A desperate wish: that I can somehow get this book for either a literature group set or even a whole class read-a-loud set. Shush now, I can wish.

keep on reading

2010-03-14T11:25:00.000-06:00

Stepping Word Stones

2010-02-28T13:56:00.013-07:00

If I was a little forest elf crossing a dangerous river by jumping from stone to stone, these are what the stones would say for the last 12 months:

blazing
growling
fighting
grasping
shattered
severed
stomping
summiting
grieving
praying
healing
aching
loving
tethered
cherished
held

I'm across that river now and on solid ground. Oh my, what a wonderful enchanted forest I've happened upon.

Choclate Chip Cookies and Beef Stew

2010-02-21T17:09:00.005-07:00

I had a pancake disaster two weeks ago and my best mate has been super sick. We went for a couple weeks with out much delicious cooking or eating here on planet fun. But my cooking adventures have now started back up.

First. I've tinkered with this chocolate chip cookie recipe over the past few months and it has now evolved into a recipe that produces perfectly moist and delicious cookies every time.

Chocolate Chip Cookies
Cream:
2 cubes butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
3 eggs
1.5 tsp vanilla
Add:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 (a little heaping) tsp salt
1 (a little heaping) tsp baking powder
a whole bag of chocolate chips. (I like the miniature ones these days)

Bake at 375 for 10 minutes

Second. I made a hearty and delicious beef stew today. I'm going to put it into a beef pot pie for dinner tomorrow. I don't want to forget what I did to get today's stew so nice, so before I forget, here's how I made it:

Beef Stew
Caramelize half of a chopped onion in olive oil.
Add a package of cubed beef and also add one chicken bullion cube
After the beef has browned, add water, parsley, and 2 bay leaves and let it all simmer for 90 minutes.
Add 5 chopped potatoes and 5 chopped carrots, boil for 30 more minutes
Add a can of sweet corn and a packet of brown gravy, turn down heat for last ten minutes.

Hrm. Was that all I did? Yeh. I think so. I'm looking forward to the pot pie tomorrow.

I want to have about 12 main dish recipes and 6 dessert recipes that reliably turn out well. That's my goal.

All the SCHOLAR ladies

2010-02-20T07:45:00.001-07:00

a little poet

2010-02-12T17:47:00.002-07:00

One of my petite fifth grade girls regularly gifts me these incredibly sophisticated poems written in pencil on blue-lined paper. Yesterday I asked her if she was going to write me one of her masterpieces for Valentine's Day. She gasped with joyful anticipation. And this morning she handed me a poem that switches points of view, from a fierce but lonely dragon to a shy but generous elf.

pink and red and shades of green

2010-02-07T19:18:00.007-07:00

I hate February. It's a month that is very gray and drab. But so far this has been a good month. School often starts to feel like it's really draggggggging around now, but this year I have an energetic student teacher in charge most the day. Most of my students seem to be making decent progress. They might be itching for spring, and, trust me, so am I, but it isn't affecting any of us so much that we can't enjoy learning each day. I'm looking forward to the three months I'll have back with my class starting in mid-March.

Other reasons this particular February feels us overflowing with lovely colors: Zumba dance classes are now offered at the Bountiful Rec Center. Almost every day! There have been a few days of warm-ish weather and bright sun. My siblings all bought me some way cool hiking boots that I've been breaking in. My best mate slash best friend is very good to me and very funny. Two of my daughters enjoy hanging out with me. And I'm making reasonable progress on my lifetime dream of becoming a real writer.

And this:

new gratitudes

2010-01-27T20:54:00.002-07:00

A few winter 2010 gratitudes:

1. the Words With Friends iPhone app
2. no cavities
3. a warm bed
4. love
5. buttermilk pancakes
6. eliptical machines
7. books
8. five or six ridiculously darling students
9. funny colleagues
10. supportive friendships
11. laughter
12. deep sleep
13. words
14. star trek the next generation
15. my family

Tapioca Pudding

2010-01-11T19:02:00.004-07:00

I had never cooked this before but it's one of my best mate's favorite desserts. We basically followed the recipe on the back of the Kraft Quick Cooking Minute Tapioca box. We used half whole milk and half skim and quadrupled the recipe. It was a good thing we had a huge stew pot or it would have overflowed. We added a little extra sugar, but not more than a tablespoon. And also an extra tsp of vanilla at the very end. It took about 20 minutes to heat up to a boil, but thickened right up perfect. I'm glad my best mate was there to help me learn this one.

Result: it was delicious hot, maybe would have been a little better hot with all whole milk. And it has been super delicious cold. We cooked it on Saturday and it's already gone.

Shaping My Year

2010-01-01T21:10:00.008-07:00

I've never been much of a goal setter, Mormon Taoist that I still am. But last January I set my sights on some reasonable goals and accomplished most of them. It felt pretty darn good to look up the metaphorical mountains and say I am going to climb those. And then proceed to climb them. And so...I'm gonna give goal setting another go.

2010 goals:
*Run that Centerville 4th of July 5K again and beat last year's time.
*Summit 12 mountains, but be safe and sane about it.
*Write two books. My brother getting published has lit a scorching fire under my butt on this lifelong dream.
*Get to where I can do 25 real push-ups
*Get Stabbetha, my World of Warcraft character, to level 80 and beyond!
*raft a river or two
*Read 100 books
*Keep peace, hope, love, and trust in my own heart and life
*Memorize 3 poems
*Write 5 poems
*Try out some new recipes and keep enjoying all the old ones

On a different, but related note--it's somewhat terrifying but also quite wonderful to recognize how far a stable and supportive relationship can go in healing deep wounds and in helping me shape a gentle, happy reality.

Pumpkin Crumble Cake

2009-12-31T15:56:00.008-07:00

Cooking lots and lots of delicious food is a new passion of mine. My best mate is a super complimentary, honest, and always grateful consumer of my cooking efforts, which continues to fuel this new passion like oil on fire.

I considered starting a new blog or wiki with recipes, but this one will do just fine. If you try out a recipe and would like to leave feedback or suggestions, PLEASE comment.

I've been craving a new pumpkin dessert for a couple weeks. The original recipe for this delicious dessert was from my mom's recipe collection and was called Pumpkin Squares. I renamed the yummy dessert, added a little flour to the topping, but kept everything else in the recipe exactly the same.

Pumpkin Crumble Cake

Bottom:
1 pkg. yellow cake mix (less 1 cup to use later)
½ cup butter, melted
1 egg

Mix together and press in a 9 X 13 inch cake pan. It will be like a cake batter.

Filling:
1 large can pumpkin
2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
¾ cup brown sugar
3 eggs
1 can evaporated milk

Mix with an egg beater and pour over the bottom layer.

Topping:

1 cup reserved cake mix
½ cup butter, softened
1 cup flour
1 tsp. cinnamon

Blend topping with fork as in a pie crust. Sprinkle on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Serve with whipped cream.

late night trains

2009-12-29T20:20:00.003-07:00

thunderous screeching
blue sparks
oil and grit
exhaled crushing

weeds blown wide in the dust
blurred landscapes
parallel rails
constantly coupling
never touching
warehouses and dreams slip by

Communication, Cooperation, and Choices

2009-12-13T17:54:00.002-07:00

My good friend Mike Harman has been coming into my class every Wednesday morning for 45 minutes and teaching my students lessons on "Communication, Cooperation, and Choices."

I've always wanted to see the teaching model where students are given rather difficult tasks they can work on together and then led through some guided reflection on what happened. Mike's doing it masterfully and it really does build the community in the class.

I particularly like how he identified those three C's as the main topics that we learn about each week. This past Wednesday the students were divided into groups of five. Each group had to stand on one side of a 3 by 6 foot piece of butcher paper (their magic carpets). The challenge was to get across the gym floor without anyone getting off the paper and without ripping it. Great challenge, great set-up, and great discussion after they all finished.

Even though I have the books that Mike gets these lessons from, and even though I've always thought it would be cool to try out, I'm going to have enough confidence and ideas to really do it with my class next year, if Mike isn't able to come back.

Telling True Stories

2009-11-14T08:49:00.007-07:00

When I relinquished custody of my three daughters last May, my mom tried to help ease the pain of that by telling this story: I was a great mom to my three adopted daughters for the four years I was living with them. I helped them learn American culture and loved them well for those four years. But now, because I was giving up physical custody, the story went, I could just be their great friend, like a super supportive aunt. I could be someone off on the side, who still loves them, but can't really be their mom anymore. Well. There was some comfort in that story. And maybe believing that story some is how I managed to not collapse when I actually moved out, it was how I survived the summer.

But it's not true. At all. Being someone's mom doesn't just change into being a nice person on the side. My feelings for them and their feelings for me, at the base of everything, are still all about mother-child love bonds. And telling a more true story, while super painful, is what all four of us need. We love each other fiercely and need those true and loving feelings to be welcomed back into our bruised hearts. There is real, and sometimes overwhelming pain in acknowledging that I'm separated from the beautiful people who are still my children. It aches the most when I come home to my empty apartment after dropping them off at their empty house. But there's also this joyful truth: they are still my children and I am still their mom. A different way of being a mom? Sure. Sure. But people get divorced all the time, and we just figure out how to still be the best parents we can for our children who deserve no less.

Poetry In the Class, Episode 2

2009-10-16T18:33:00.000-06:00

Poetry in the Classroom, Episode 1

2009-09-27T15:37:00.007-06:00

Mayda del Valle, performance poet exrtrordinairre

Fall Gratitudes

2009-09-12T14:26:00.003-06:00

1. peaches
2. fresh corn
3. my handful of good, true, close friends
4. cousins
5. live jazz music
6. street festivals
7. toys
8. books
9. students
10. prime numbers
11. chocolate
12. strawberries
13. mountains
14. yogurt
15. my three loving daughters
16. US divorce laws
17. perfect temperatures
18. my apartment
19. my siblings
20. my parents
21. the internet
22. faith
23. grace
24. coffee
25. toothpaste
26. cold, clean water
27. clean clothes to wear
28. waffles
29. movies
30. multi player online video games
31. new hair cut
32. poetry
33. trains
34. boys and men in general
35. avocados
36. nice and funny co-workers
37. iphone
38. freedom
39. sunsets
40. hot baths
41. dumb jokes
42. beer
43. text messaging
44. imagination
45. girls and women in general
46. toe nail clippers
47. microwave oven
48. lotion
49. square numbers
50. self-awareness

The Hour I First Believed

2009-07-16T08:20:00.005-06:00

Dear Wally,

On April 14 2008, in the afterword of your latest novel you wrote, "Having affixed its last period to its final sentence, I now release it to my readers and invite them to find in it whatever they want or need to find."

Thank you for this story. I'm glad I found it. I have always been a very voracious reader, but for the past ten months I haven't been able to sit still enough to read much. Stress and sadness and fear and adrenaline made my mind too jittery. But Caelum Quirk, that flawed and fabulous character, reeled me into his life and held me there for 700 pages.

"Books teach us how to live our lives." Indeed. That's a quote from a conference I once attended for teachers who believe in books. And so what have I learned from this story? To look for and to honor the dignity in each student, in each human. To trust that the view from above makes this messy labyrinth less ugly and more holy. To remember that hope and love are not only stronger and more powerful than hate and fear, they also require far more courage.

A story this good was exactly the medicine I needed to restore my reading habit. Thank you.

Fields of Sunflowers

2009-06-24T15:42:00.006-06:00

I hiked and biked to the top of Deseret Peak in the mountains west of Salt Lake City this morning. The main road up to the trail is closed so the whole thing was about 11 miles round trip. I biked about three of that and hiked the rest.

I've been making a big transition in the last few weeks. I'm living alone in a one bedroom apartment. I get to see my three daughters sometimes, but not regularly. I'm not sure of the exact day, but I believe I am "officially" divorced now. I really miss my family. There were deep and serious enough issues with my ex that I don't feel much loss there, but we did our best to love each other and now I am 100 percent on my own. Our poor efforts at love were at least something. And my girls, I miss them like crazy. I definitely get sad and a little depressed sometimes and yesterday I was fighting those serpents extra hard.

Hiking is my very reliable way to find both literal and spiritual sunshine. Yes, I am one of *those* crazy women who talks straight to god and believe that he talks right back. So on the trail today I'm whining about not being loved. And then I start noticing some things. Like the scent of the dry pine needles when they are getting smooshed into the spongy, snowy ground. And in the open fields there were these little white butterflies that kept on firecracking up out of the ground as I walked by. They made each open meadow feel like being inside of a well-shaken butterfly snow globe.

And the sunflowers.

I have a good friend whose family has land in Kentucky and I told him once that it'd be cool if he planted me a whole field of sunflowers. Well, right there on the mountainside today, god gave me not just one, but seven, SEVEN, fields of glorious, bright yellow sunflowers. Just blaring their sunflower selves into new shades of van gough brilliance.

And if that mountain and my body's ability to enjoy it so well isn't love, well, what the fuck is? God started laughing when I finally noticed those fields of sunflowers. He was all, "not loved????!! darlin, your capillaries are filling each cell of your body with delicious mountain oxygen and you are looking straight at your very own sunflower fantasy/dream made real, and okay, yes, you can't see past the next bend in the trail. true. but stop straining to look so far ahead and look at what's right in front of you, and all around you, and even right inside you."

Sigh. Deep breath. My gratitude list today is far longer than usual and those tears today---both times---all joy, all love, all grace.

Gratitude List

2009-05-24T16:43:00.004-06:00

Big huge life change comin up next weekend. My almost ex is moving back into our house to be the sole physical guardian of our 3 daughters and I'm moving to my parents to recover for a few weeks. Given a whole lot of things that cannot change, this is the arrangement that is going to be best for my girls, which is all I've ever wanted out of this mess. So, on the one hand, this is good news. But it's really sad and I get angry about it too--not really at a particular person anymore---just at the whole situation.

But life goes on and there are plenty of things to look forward to and still be grateful for.

1. my life is like a brand new canvass
2. i get to enjoy a few weeks in the snug, protective shelter of the Donkey Ranch
3. time and freedom to climb and camp all summer
4. my girls will become more independent
5. the awful fight of this divorce is over and we all have peaceful hearts again
6. i'll be roommates with my baby bro for a few weeks
7. time to read and write more
8. a lot less yard work, house work, laundry, and grocery shopping
9. i'll have a lot of empathy and common ground with all those child-support payin dads out there
10. the love my girls and i feel for each other might be in some ways stronger when it keeps us connected even though we're no longer together.

Truth is, this is very painful and sad. Truth is, I'll be okay.

Keeping Me

2009-05-21T11:18:00.002-06:00

I hesitate to ever say or write much until it's absolutely finished and the divorce papers are signed by a judge, but we are working together in good faith and good love right now to give our girls the best of both of us. Unfortunately for me, to get to this good place, I'm not going to be with them every day anymore. Good for them, sad for me.

One little pearl I've tried hard during the last few weeks to give them is a few lines of poetry. I don't even remember where I first saw this gem, but it has become our little bit of love that they will have in their hearts even when I'm not around.

Mama says be good,
Mama says be kind,
Mama says the rain will come,
Yet still the sun will shine.

Things that make me say, "hmmmmmmm"

2009-05-15T19:19:00.006-06:00

Well. Perhaps the end of this very sad and very painful road is near. Perhaps...

I am trying hard to detach from the outcome and stay clear about my commitments. I will always stay involved in my daughters' lives. I want them to be welcome and free to visit me often. I actually think it's best for them to be living with me in my home, but either way is okay. Deep breath.

Dear Universe, I love the trees in my backyard and I love the sense of humor of my two youngest children and I love the care and constant sustenance I get from many good friends.

My students did really well on their year-end tests this week and during a normal school year this would mean I'd be dancing around like a mad woman celebrating. But it is not a normal year. And my very own three children are feeling all kinds of sorrow and fear. Yes, the end to this huge mess seems very near, but it will still be a while before I can sleep peacefully.

I do predict, however, that by mid-summer I will be blogging about books and teaching and writing again.

Skittles

2009-05-02T17:22:00.005-06:00

Kitten love. What a great way to chill on the weekends when I'm home alone. This baby is feisty and I'm trying to teach him not to scratch.

Is is, I know, a pretty extreme and awful divorce situation, particularly given all the horrendous things that have been said to my three girls. Imagine them standing alone in a hailstorm of guilt and shame. But there is this amazing truth at the bottom of all my peaceful joy: god's love is an absolute constant and as long as our response to all of our pain and suffering is to stay near god, we aren't ever alone, we can't be defeated. In our weakness we are made strong. What I love most about how this has ended up working for me is that I'm made strong through the love and laughter of many excellent friends. I'm given peace through a blind trust in the power of love to heal broken hearts and to bridge huge canyons of difference.

Yeh, one day at a time, of course. How else would we want our days delivered? One delicious, simple, wonderful day at a time is perfect.

I am the Momma

2009-04-24T15:54:00.004-06:00

In case this ends up in official court records I just want to be clear, I am doing everything possible to prevent my youngest daughter from ever being incarcerated. I love her to pieces, do my best every single day to teach her to make thoughtful choices, and I give her lots of very powerful little lectures about her future. But, if you've ever met my youngest child you also understand why it's good that I've already dealt with the possibility that she might not follow all of her momma's excellent advice.

Here's the thing, my one source of comfort in the midst of some awful storms: Despite the strong and prolonged efforts by ex and his family to convince my daughters that I am basically "a stranger", that I'm basically nothing important or real in their lives---despite all this and despite their predictably torn responses to it, I still know one thing. Regardless of how all this immediate stuff gets sorted out, deep deep down in my heart I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the first time my baby is in jail, it is *ME* she's gonna call first. "Mom---I can't call uncle," she'll say through her choking sobs. And I'll respond, "I know baby, I know. I'm on my way."

Spring Break

2009-04-19T07:55:00.004-06:00

I had the entire week of Spring Break on my own, in my house. Here are a few things I do just cuz I *can* when I'm alone in the house: drink milk from the carton, walk around the house in my bra and panties all morning, eat ice cream for dinner and eat breakfast cereal for lunch. I still made my bed every day, kept the house very clean, and took a shower each morning. I had one day there when I didn't feel like getting out of bed, but that storm blew over and I mostly enjoyed the down time.

Back to school tomorrow--with full energy and fuel to go six more weeks.

Finding the Funny

2009-04-04T10:30:00.005-06:00

Gotta dig deeper to find the funny in all the emotions and drama these days, but it's what keeps my head above water.

Easter used remarkably accurate spelling in the rant she wrote about me. "WITCH" was spelled correctly every time.

Clara used a line that sounded like an echo of me in texting her friend regarding how she'd respond if that boy used our house key to sneak in at night: "i haz weapons"

That boy was scared enough of me when I answered Clara's phone to return said house key to my hand within 5 minutes of speaking with him. And he was also scared enough to refuse to show me his driver's license.

Easter instant messaged Lisa and said, "you cannot put this on twitr," about their secret escapade hanging out at West High. (which was how they got caught)

None of them have said these words out loud yet, but I've got my spirit and emotions steeled and ready for "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!!!!!" Shrug. Okay. Now get your homework and chores done my darlins.

Clara got a very fitting introduction to my crazy friend Rebecca in the office at Washington. They had a heated exchange of words that involved Rebecca mocking a little and Clara raging a little.

I made "Quotes of the Week" for the first time evah, and, okay fine, the pleasure of this was extra sweet cuz my sister didn't make it this week: http://atheneumlover.blogspot.com/

When provoked, I'm strong enough to smash my bathroom door all the way through the door frame. And to also make the plastic light cover fall off the ceiling. And both of these things are quite easily fixed.

The girls were the first to joke about how many body guards I need to take when I taxi them to Sudanese Church choir practice.

Don't worry too much. We're still all doing fine. What doesn't kill us just makes us stronger. Just keep all those prayers a-comin.

On Our Own

2009-03-29T10:31:00.003-06:00

Since January 1, 2009, I've had my 3 adopted daughters mostly on my own. Yes, we were living with my parents for several weeks, but my mom and dad were supportive grandparents and let me still be the parent. Because of courts and custody and all that jazz this situation could change, but I predict I'm going to continue to have a life I never imagined myself having at 33, I'm a single mom to 3 adolescent daughters.

The emotional climate of our home is much better than it was a few months ago, but I do find myself flailing about, grasping for answers to basic questions, like what are our Dating Rules?? How do I respond to disrespectful arguing?? What are reasonable limits on cell phones?? on computer time?? on tv and video games?? What afternoon and evening routines and habits are essential??

As I sort through all this new found parenting territory I want two things to guide my choices: love and faith.

A new gratitude: all those painful years of piano lessons. (thanks mom!!) I was playing hymns yesterday at my friend's house and I so LOVE mormon hymns.....there's nothing quite so relaxing and soul nourishing for me than playing them on a piano. I've been searching KSL.com and Craig's List for a used piano all morning.

A List

2009-03-21T18:53:00.003-06:00

Some ways I've survived (and even thrived) while in the middle of a stressful divorce:

1. The eliptical machine at the South Davis Rec Center. I'm doing other things now, like basketball practice and running, but there was a good 3 month stretch when I was on that machine 40 minutes a day, five days a week.
2. Friends. I have been graciously encircled by a cadre of wonderful women. It's been easier to keep close friends as I've made the hard choices that have brought me closer to being my true, good self.
3. A decent lawyer. Yeh, they cost money, but having a lawyer that I have a lot of confidence in removes lots of immediate stress because I'm sure it's important and good for the long term.
4. Laughter. Funny movies, funny friends, funny websites, funny tv. It is not just a distraction; laughing a lot at all sorts of crazy stuff helps me remember to laugh at myself and that is what helps me keep everything in perspective.
5. Faith.
6. A good therapist. Mine said I'm doing remarkably well, all things considered, and didn't even schedule a follow-up or next visit. But it was still good to hear some professional validation of things I'd been sorting through for several months.
7. Family. I stay connected to all of my siblings on the internet and phone and we are very close. My parents provided the well sheltered harbor we (my girls and I) needed for several of the roughest weeks.
8. A savings account. It's gone now, but was definitely nice to have when this all started.
9. Learning new things. Learning to prep the walls of a room before painting it was lots of fun. Next? I want to learn to ride a motorcycle, shoot a handgun, and change the oil in my car.
10. Trust. I have a lot of trust right now in my daughters and in their ability to weather the immediate storm. I also have lots of trust in God and his ridiculously mysterious hands, always holding us, but never letting us see that far ahead.

I'm not really out of the woods yet, but this whole journey has followed the last couple of seasons closely and in many, many ways if feels just like spring. I feel hopeful and renewed.

In Like a Lion

2009-03-09T19:55:00.005-06:00

Big, cold blizzard here in SLC today. ROAR. Roarrrr.

Today's Gratitudes:
March snow doesn't stick to the roads.
I got in and out of the DMV to replace my stolen driver's license in less than 10 minutes today.
Easter has this gorgeous light of responsible big-sisterly love that comes out bright around Lydia, who is in town for two weeks.
Car is working fine.
Heater in house is working fine.
My phone and ipod were in the pocket of my hoodie and not in my purse
My homegirlz
Healthy children and healthy self.
Peaceful home.
Credit card companies pay for fraudulent (stolen card) charges.
Nobody asked me why I was so thoughtless and turned my back on my purse while bagging my groceries.
Good class of sixth graders.
Get to gradually start teaching my sixth graders again as student teacher is winding down his stint.
Great equipment at the South Davis Rec Center
Zumba dance class.
Big TBR pile of books waiting for me to start up that old reading habit again.
Lydia remembered me and ran and hugged me on sight Sunday.
Excellent student teacher.
Harriet tells me about all her boyfriends.
Spring Break is in less than a month.
And I still have some amazingly sweet gifts sent straight from above: faith, hope, patience, and peace.

O thing that consoles, how clumsily I thank you.

It has been a rather stressful couple of days, but when I'm quiet enough, I hear god laughing and that wise laughter makes a blissfully calm soundtrack for my life...

a poem by me

2009-02-04T18:16:00.003-07:00

a desert mud frog

buried under the dry desert ground
baked hard
one heartbeat per minute
deathly still

dormant senses
no self
all is quiet
all is still

rain pummels the ground
splashes up and falls
harder
faster

the cool water seeps down
between the crevices
into my skin
into my veins

jolted into aliveness
gorged on water
squirming in the mud
surfacing

devouring colors
through my permeable skin
through my membrane ears
through my fast beating heart

hopping
laughing
living
loving

My Nerd Profile

2009-02-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

Bird, Lake, Moon by Kevin Henkes

2009-01-29T20:09:00.005-07:00

Twelve-year-old Mitch was recently informed by his parents that they are getting divorced. Spencer is visiting the lake for the first time with his family since his brother drowned there when Spencer was two. Both boys have complicated internal struggles and their friendship develops slowly.

The pace of the book is slow compared to lots of my students' favorite series, but there is lots of mystery and tension and the two main characters work through problems that I'm sure are overwhelming and scary and huge to children.

Of course the timing for me reading this book was rather serendipitous. From my current perspective I appreciated how the story dealt with the very real and legitimate issues that these boys face, and although many of these issues are related to the adults in their lives, the adults' problems are not the focus but are also not over simplified. The parents aren't portrayed as anything but real humans with complicated lives of their own. Yeh, I guess I'm oversensitive to these issues, but still appreciated the care Henkes took with his story and characters. Yes, divorce is really hard on kids, but they can get through those initial weeks and months and be okay.

What I predict kids will like: real kids dealing with very real problems.

Lagoon, by Easter Simbe

2009-01-26T20:50:00.003-07:00

We were at my Nana's house. We were watching a movie. My aunts were watching the movie too. Then they saw a newspaper that had Lagoon on it. They thought it might be fun to go there, but my mom said, "No, I do not like that place." Then she said, "I don't care if you want to go but I'm not going. Lisa can take you guys." Lisa is my aunty.

The next day came by. It was the day I saw scary rides and good food. I had goose bumps! We went on the roller coaster. We only had time for that one ride. After, we went home. No, just playing. We went on many rides but I don't want to list them. No, Okay I changed my mind. I went on the roller coaster, the Pheonix, the swings, and the animal ride. It was so fun. I loved Lagoon. The End. Written By: Easter Simbe

Life on the Donkey Ranch

2009-01-25T10:05:00.005-07:00

My three daughters and I have crash landed for a while at my parents' house, which is lovingly referred to as "The Donkey Ranch". Heber and Brigham are two miniature jack-asses which help fill my parents' empty nest and enhance the fantasy that they are living on a rural farm. Our family moved into this house when I was 13 and even though lots has changed, there are still lots of things that are still the same. One of my most effective strategies for getting through some of the hard emotional stuff I've been processing has been through humor. Here are some of the best things about living on The Donkey Ranch:

home cookin: i've been showing mom how to find recipes online, she's been teaching me all the important skills i refused to learn as a willful teenager. together we're keeping everyone very well fed.
the commute: okay, fine, it mostly sucks, but that 50 extra minutes each day of time together with my girls is very good bonding time. (when they're awake enough to talk)
missing pieces: there is no better place for me to scavenge for some of those missing pieces of my shattered identity than here, where i can dig around in my roots and sit quietly listening for the voices of some of my most helpful ghosts. a bit schizo? yeh, i know, but still helpful.
sunsets: when the sun dips into the Great Salt Lake you can see it from here and it paints the sky a warm mixture of peach, purple, and pink. softly brilliant.
marble counters, wood floors, one real and one gas fireplace, and a convection oven: lots of luxuries here that are just fun to relish.
Nana and Grandpa Jim: i'm wise enough these days to know deep down in my bones that nobody is around forever and the way my dad teases and the way my mom nurtures are memories i want my girls and me to have burned into us forever.
my monk cell: what i call my youngest brother's room that i'm sleeping in. unfinished and freezing, just down the hall from my girls but quite private. i'm actually loving it. it's a perfect place to meditate, pray, and dig.

lucky joyful birthday find

2009-01-17T11:29:00.001-07:00

honestly, i'm a fairly simple gal. don't need much more than this to make my whole day:

Prayer Candles and Gratitude Stones

2009-01-08T11:17:00.006-07:00

In the garden that I am imagining it is late spring. A warm breeze is rustling the new green leaves of several huge trees and I am kneeling on the ground, laying down some stones and lighting some candles.

Gratitude Stones: a built-in substitute in the form of my student teacher, a supportive boss, a safe harbor basement home to stay in, an abundance of faith, a car that's in good condition and all paid off, a nice bed, healthy children, Reverend Robin, clean water, my own physical health, supportive friends and family, a secure good job that I also happen to love, clarity about who I am and what I have to do, a class of students I can be away from for a couple days without too many worries, Easter's humor, Clara's strength, Harriet's innocence, my parents' graciousness and love, a gym I adore, and the whole tangled web of experiences that have brought me to exactly where I'm at.

Prayer Candles: grant me patience, understanding, and hope; give my loved ones strength, peace, and health, and keep us all tucked securely under your wings of redeeming love.

Yes, it's true. What doesn't kill us can make us stronger---stronger and wiser and more gentle. Stronger and more patient and more kind. Stronger and more faithful and more closely attuned to god's whispers. Stronger and more pliant and more full of forgiveness and hope.

Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli

2009-01-07T20:28:00.003-07:00

Lou, the sixteen-year-old narrator of this book is a typical teen boy. He's a bit shy and introverted but gets along okay socially. The entire student body of Mica High School is turned upside down when a new student who has named herself Stargirl shows up on the first day of school. This odd, formerly home-schooled girl plays the ukulele, wears long pioneer dresses, and she seems to not care a single whit what other people think of her or of her whacky style and personality.

Lou is smitten and the two gradually develop a romantic relationship. The rest of the students at Mica start out bewildered of Stargirl, they soon develop a fair weather form of admiration and raise her up to super-star popularity. But quite suddenly the rest of the students turn on her for some of the same qualities they so admired, her non-comformity and passionate compassion.

Lou's dilema in all of this is captured by a single question: "Whose affection do you value more, hers or others?" This isn't an easy struggle for Lou. He isn't as able ignore the cold stares of his classmates and he begs Stargirl to change, to become more normal.

There were several things I liked about this book. High school group dyanamics were represented very realistically and all those new and dizzying feelings of first love were also captured through Lou's descriptions and narration. My only criticism was that Stargirl's character was a bit over-the-top. Overdone. But for middle schoolers working through identity issues, I'm sure she is a perfect hero.

2009 BABY

2008-12-31T17:53:00.002-07:00

I have spent a lot of the last year living by the first half of the serenity prayer. I not only accepted but actually learned to love a lot of things I knew I could never change. This ability to accept things was a good place to spend some time. Detaching is a way to gather strength and get perspective. I learned to laugh at myself and eventually learned to see the bigger picture of my dysfunctional situation. In the last few months I've switched to the second half of the serenity prayer, the courage to change the things I can. And I've learned a lot about how much courage it takes do that.

Given that it's the turn of the new year, I am determined and resolute. I'm also terrified and nervous and more humble than I've been for years. I feel like I'm walking blind, but holding onto an intricately carved wooden railing. Often I get startled and realize I'm walking in complete darkness, but then I hold onto that railing and regain my footing and confidence.

Here are some things I think would be a lot of fun to aim for in 2009: run the Centerville 5 K on the 4th of July, summit Timpanogus, hike Lisa Falls, find a city rec softball or basketball league, write five polished poems, fill 2 writer's notebooks, read 50 books, make sure Clara gets her driver's lisence before June, take the girls to 4 live theater or dance type of events, listen to Easter read more, have regular family prayers and family fun times, find a way to learn more Spanish and relearn Ilongo, start a women's poker group, gather more excellent poems for me and for my students, and keep on "getting along" with everyone at work.

Welcome to Earth, 2009

Endings and Beginnings

2008-12-29T18:35:00.005-07:00

Deep, deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.

Dear Blog Readers,

Sorry for the very long interlude. I promise that I will be posting more regularly. I've had some big upheavels in my personal life. When major fault lines get shaken it's scary and not so easy to sit still and write, (or sit still and read for that matter). But I am back. The changes are all good. And I'll likely talk more about them later.

I've always reserved this space for an eclectic mix of book reviews, teaching reflections, and even some personal stuff.

Tonight I had a "dance party" with my three daughters. We used to do this often, the first year they were here, but haven't for a long time. We hooked Harriet's ipod up to the sound system and jammed to Soulja Boy, DJ Unk, Missy Elliot, and T-Pain. Clara showed me how to krump, E rolled around on the floor making a big fool of herself, and Harriet used her new video toy to record the whole thing. I so love my daughters. I deeply adore their amazingly strong, gorgeous spirits. And I am so blessed to have them as my daughters.

Reading Journals

2008-11-09T10:34:00.003-07:00

Every year that I've taught (this is my 7th year), I've had my students keep reading journals. These spiral bound notebooks are letters back and forth, primarily between me and each individual student, all about their reading lives.

If I had to choose one structure that captures my philosophy and passion and essence as a teacher, it would be reading journals. Things I love about them: our letters back and forth make for a very authentic writing experience, they are full of my students' personal, thoughtful responses to books, and they position my students in a relationship with me that is about "fellow reader" and "fellow thinker", setting up an apprenticeship learning model that I know they learn well from. I am often blown away by the originality and quality of their thinking in these letters.

A few choice lines from this week's batch of letters:
"I think that was really thoughtful of you to give me a wonderful book." (Life As We Knew It)
"It made me sad when Tally's boyfriend died." (Pretties)
"Smiles To Go is about the teenager named Will Tuppence and he really likes science which ties into my own life because I like science."
"If I could be any character I would want to be Bella because she is a really special girl who has the perfect life other than her boyfriend's a vampire and her old best friend/arch enemy is a werewolf." (Twilight series)
"I give Twilight fives stars because it's a gripping non able to stop book and also because it's a novel and one of the best selling books in America."
"If I could be one of the characters I would be Annabeth or Thalia, because they're both strong and smart." (Percy Jackson series)
"This is one of my favorite books because my mom read it to me when I was little." (Green Eggs and Ham)

Aren't my students amazing??
Love 'em.

Poetry, Like Bread, is for Everyone

2008-10-27T18:15:00.004-06:00

I have the class this year that I imagine many teachers only ever dream about. They listen. They read. They are decent to each other. They do their math homework and study their spelling words. It's my 7th year teaching and I sorta feel like the universe has given me a sabbatical year---very low stress. No rough diamonds. Nobody who needs to sit often in a private office. Just hard working, earnest, good, good, good kids.

The most exiting new thing I've been doing this year: poetry. Every single day we've read a poem together. I'm so glad I spent time over the summer getting this ready. My "roughest" boys love poems. They see the connection, I believe, between good poetry and the process they are all in the very middle of: figuring out their fledgling identities.

Elvis and Olive

2008-09-27T08:48:00.005-06:00

I thought this was a fantastic book. I loved the characters: book smart, lives-in-her-mind, socially reserved Natalie, and "feral cat" Annie (Natalie's description). The opening scene is their very strained but hilarious first encounter. They become fast friends and immediately form a secret club, with secret names (Elvis and Olive) and the secret mission of uncovering as many "good" secrets about their neighbors as possible. The two girl spies are good at their self-assigned task and manage to uncover some secrets that lead to tricky situations and more power than they know how to responsibly handle (including secrets about each other). The lessons they learn about friendship and privacy and community are rich and are very well earned by the careful story development and true to character writing. Stephanie Watson zooms in on what it's like to be a 10-year-old girl with that same sweet accuracy as Jenny Han does with her 12-year-old characters in Shug.

I hate that this great book about ten-year-old girls will be a rather hard sell with my eleven-turning-twelve-year-old students. Sixth graders are fussy like that. I think I can make the hard sell, and I'll put some serious effort into it because the reading level of the text is right at the "enjoyment level" of my students, because it's a story I think they'll delight in, if they give it a chance, and because I think it's far better written than those silly vampire books that my students can't get enough of.

7 Things I Adore About this Class

2008-09-14T11:45:00.002-06:00

It will take me a few years of teaching straight 6th grade classes to tease apart which of these are attributes of generic 6th graders, and which are simply unique traits about my current class, but here are my 7 favorite things, so far, about my current students:

They can work in small groups, for 40 minutes, with no major hitches. They can work together to complete at least a full page of written instructions.

They are already readers and writers.

They have a lot of self-awareness. They know what kind of books they like and what kind of writing pieces they prefer to work on.

Most of them know all of their basic math facts.

They're brave. They've already shared things during our Community Circle time that fourth graders would never share until December (specific fears and hopes).

They have "good student" habits, like returning homework and studying their spelling words.

They're very compliant and easy to manage. Nobody's had to go to another class for "think time" yet and minus a couple of small ADD issues, there are very few interruptions related to poor behavior/choices.

We've been reading Tangerine as our first read aloud and it's going well. I wish the plot was faster at the beginning, but we're already past that initial steep slope and we're currently enjoying the very thoughtful main character and complex themes.

I've been scrambling a bit to find enough new choice reading books for all the students who I had as fifth graders. That will be my fun, on-going challenge this year.

Teaching Priorities

2008-09-10T16:31:00.003-06:00

Teachers are constantly getting pulled, stretched, and worked over, just like the salt taffy made back in the day by the Utah pioneers. " Squeeze in this new reading program." "Integrate the arts." "Teach 180 minutes of language arts each day." "Can we come talk to your students about a haiku contest? about their dental health? about safety around power lines?"

One way I manage to feel less stretched and calm, despite all these well-intentioned efforts to steal away my teaching time is that I have very clear priorities. In no particular order, here they are:

Math--everyday---no matter what. I'll shave off some time, if needed, but we "do" math every day, usually for an hour.

Poetry---this is a new one for me, but I haven't missed a day yet and I am luvvving the Nancie Atwell "Naming the World" model.

Independent Reading---between 30 and 50 minutes, every day. Every day. All year.

Writing---at least 4 days a week I make sure my students have a 50 minute writing workshop.

There are other things that I do each day, like spelling, vocabulary, and "punctuation practice", but they're not on my list of things I can't ever skip. I also teach science and social studies, but I like to do three week units and alternate between the two; we're still learning about Egypt, but by the last week in September we'll be studying microbes during that same hour each day.

I was raised in a religious culture with an expectation that certain daily practices would become habitual and so intrinsic to my identity that I wouldn't ever miss a day. Well, I'm not such a devout mormon these days, but independent reading, writing workshop, and math are such high priorities of mine that I do them each day with religious devotion.

What are some of your teaching practices that spring from beliefs so deep and powerful that you never skip or cancel them?

full throttle

2008-09-03T19:34:00.006-06:00

When will I feel completely caught up and able to relax deeply and not start "to do" lists every time I sit down long enough to think? Oh yeah, that will be next June.

But, despite the stress and fatigue, things are good. I have 29 students, but none of them need to be given a Private Office to do their work, and as long as the count stays under 30, I'm feeling okay.

The new literacy coach was so impressed by our DIBELS scores that she's anxious to come and see how I do reading workshop. I really like our old coach, so this makes me a bit nervous.

I'm moving back and forth between the Lucy Calkins Units of Study narrative books and the mini lessons from Nancie Atwell's Lessons that Change Writers. So far--this weaving is working well.

I have shared a poem everyday and this is a goal that I think I'm gonna be able to meet (one-a-day everyday all year) because my students are so INTO the poems. Their enthusiastic responses are fueling my motivation. The best part of the model (from Nancie Atwell) is having the kids "rate" the poems after we're done with them each day. When I forgot this final step today, they were quick to remind me.

I'll try hard to share more detailed and specific stories later. For now---yes---things are going well.

My Summer Ends

2008-08-23T16:43:00.005-06:00

Were my summer goals met? Well, I gathered a nice big bunch of poems and read the teacher guide book to the Nancie Atwell Naming The World poetry resource book. And I am super psyched to start *doing* poetry with my students each day. I am a bit scared of the performance part of the routine, but I'm convinced it's critical and I'm sure excited to try it out.

I completed a unit plan for Ancient Egypt and I gathered and ordered all the resources I'm going to need for a unit on microorganisms.

I only found a few excellent short stories but I might use some of the stories in the basal we've been given and part of my Donors Choose proposal for literature groups has been funded, so I'm optimistic about having enough resources to run strong small groups.

My other big accomplishments this summer? I took my 3 girls to Yellowstone for their first time. I won The Legend of Zelda on the Wii. I visited my sister in Fresno for a week. I started reading more adult books than I have for the last few years. And I watched every episode of all 5 seasons of The Wire. I learned to enjoy my summer vacation so throughly that I'm actually having a hard time getting my passion for teaching up to its normal levels of intensity. Please don't get me wrong. I still love teaching and I'm excited to be going back to work soon. But I've also learned how to really enjoy my time off. What I'm hoping is that my ability to RELAX well will mean that I'll be able to stay in this wonderful profession for many years to come.

Home Visits

2008-08-21T18:33:00.004-06:00

Last year, for the first time ever, I dropped by the homes of each of my students before the first day of school. This evening I finished these visits again, and it's a tradition I'll likely continue to the end of my teaching career. Why? It's wonderful to have such a positive first contact with both my students (who are happy to get their little Welcome Back gift bag,) and also with their parent(s), who like to get the supply list and are most often tickled and grateful to have me stop by, and either introduce myself, or if I already know them, to just say "Hi." There was one mom last year and then another one this year who seemed annoyed---but the huge majority of parents seem to sincerely appreciate the gesture and they make it well worth my time and energy.

And--I guess it goes without saying--I learn stuff about my students that I might not ever otherwise learn; if they have younger siblings they care for, if they live in an apartment or in a house, and sometimes whether or not they have grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins living with them. I'm about to start my seventh year of teaching and I've spent all my years at the same school. I love the neighborhood where I work and walking and driving around the area helps me feel even more connected to the wider community.

Making Good Use of Volunteers--how??

2008-08-13T19:07:00.004-06:00

I had such a thoughtful comment on my last post that I felt it worth throwing another question out into our lovely little cyber-teacher-lounge.

I teach at a Title 1 School and my students have a wide range of abilities and backgrounds. I'm firmly committed to reading and writing workshop models of language arts instruction. For the first time ever, last year, our school had an abundance of adults from local businesses and church groups, who were willing to spend an hour or so each week volunteering. Most of them want to work directly with kids. I wanted them to work with my middle and high readers, but these kids got understandably annoyed when I asked them to read their choice reading books out loud to the volunteers.

What are some of your ideas and experiences in making good use of the time and efforts of adult volunteers (parents or others)? Particularly as a support for reading instruction of older elementary school kids?

Read-A-Thon Musings

2008-08-10T18:58:00.004-06:00

Yesterday and today, next to a cool blue pool in sunny California, three friends and I have been reading The Brothers K, my all-time favorite novel. We planned this read-a-thon event months ago, and it is kinda like a dream come true. Reading my favorite book, along side a handful of thoughtful readers, interrupted only to enjoy a dip in the pool, a fruity drink, or a delicious meal--I honestly couldn't dream anything better.

A couple observations---we're all "good" readers. Duh. But we read at very different paces. The big range in our reading speeds has become quite pronounced as we've all 4 been reading the same book. There comes a point, between 3rd and 6th grade, me thinks, when the darn DIBELS booklets ought to be flushed down the toilet. Perhaps they have a very limited utility, but PUH-LEEZE. They are even better than AR tests at obliterating thoughtful reading and beneficial teaching.

I was imagining a lot of rich and exciting discussions between the 4 poolside readers, but I have realized that the joy of shoulder to shoulder reading is more about the companionship of carrying on 4 separate but simultaneous conversations between each reader and David James Duncan. Yeh--it's cool, of course, to read funny lines and nod in agreement at well crafted scenes. But this kinda talk has been about ten minutes of our sixteen hour read-a-thon. The joy of doing it together is just in knowing these characters and this story are dwelling not just in my imagination at this instant, but in Julie's, Lisa's, and Connie's as well. And eventually, I'm sure, we'll feel comforted in sharing the grief of a sad story, and the final joy of a triumphant story--but sharing that sadness and joy doesn't take a whole lot of talk. It's more about sympathetic head nodding and back patting. When we're all finished I'm sure we'll all have some thoughts to exchange. But the true beauty of this experience has been rather simple--reading a good book right next to a friend or two who are reading the same good book.

I know we're expert readers here in California today and what I'm extracting from this as far as classroom teaching goes isn't so much that we don't need small reading groups or literature study. But the focus of these groups and of most of our reading mini-lessons ought to primarily be about how to have that rich conversation and experience with the author and the text. For many books, it's not great use of reading time or that interesting or instructive to have belabored discussions with peers. (Maybe??)

I'm still figuring out how to balance independent, choice reading and individual conferences with small group work. I had a great year, last year, putting into practice Nancie Atwell's Reading Zone model. But I do believe there's a value to small group instruction and I want to get that part of reading workshop down this year. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do it though, probably with lots of short stories and shortish novels that the students read in their entirety before we all get together to talk.

Memoir Monday

2008-08-04T10:57:00.004-06:00

My sister Lisa and I were in our early twenties. We both still lived in Salt Lake City and spent time together often. One Sunday afternoon we took a trip together to the the downtown library.

Once inside the library, we went our separate ways. I was working part time at an alternative high school and found myself looking through stacks of books for young adults. About an hour later we passed each other going opposite directions on the escalators. Lisa whistled--a quick high note, a quick low note--our secret signal. I went back down again and we started sharing our book finds.

"There's this one book I really want to read, but can't find," Lisa said, holding up a scrap of paper. Written in pencil were the words, Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson. "I read about it on the internet and really want to read it. The computer catalog says it should be here, but it's not on the shelf."

I shifted the stack of books in my hands and pulled a hard back from near the bottom of my pile. It was the very book she was looking for. "How'd you...." Lisa started with a puzzled look.

"I thought it looked good," I shrugged. We both shook our heads in silent amazement. We've always had our brain waves set near the same frequency, I thought, but this is incredible. Of all the books in this five-story building, we both found and decided to read the exact same one.

Ten years later: she's a young adult librarian and I'm a sixth grade teacher. And we swap book recommendations often.

Ancient Egypt Unit

2008-08-03T15:27:00.008-06:00

As per a few kind requests, here's a basic outline and links to resources from my unit on Ancient Egypt.

For this, and all of my sixth grade social studies units this year, my big picture purpose can be captured with this lofty vision:

A knowledge of world history informs our understanding of and our ability to participate thoughtfully in an increasingly global society.

Along side this worthy goal, lifted straight from the Utah State Social Studies Core Curriculum:

Help young people develop civil competence, with the ability to make informed decisions for the public good.

The essential questions for this unit are quite a bit more down-to earth:

How did geography influence Ancient Egypt's emergence as a strong and distinct region?
What were the main features/achievements of Ancient Egyptian culture?
How were the government and economy structured?

In the spirit of backward design, my next step was to think about assessment; the particular concepts I want students to know and the particular things I want them to learn how to do. For this first unit I want them to take some first, solid steps in content literacy and research skills. They'll follow a model they can use later by taking notes on 5x7 index cards, and learn how to put ideas from primary and secondary sources into their own words and how to reference these sources. Rather than written reports or poster presentations, for this first unit, they will give short oral presentations based on their research notes.

The specific vocabulary and concepts that I expect them to master are: archeology, pharaoh, scarab, sphinx, obelisk, sarcophagus, hieroglyphics, scribe, North Africa, the Middle East, papyrus, and cartouche. Grades for this unit will be based on participation in group activities, oral presentations (including research note cards), completion of class work, and a short quiz.

Introductory Activities: A short power point imagining a visit to modern Cairo (Mrs. Frizzle style). Clips from a movie available to Utah educators on Pioneer's eMedia called Beyond our Borders. KWL charts.

"A Day in the Life" lessons straight from PBS, here.

In groups of 4 mummify apples.

In the same groups of 4 students will research assigned topics, using books and internet sources, as well as topic folders compiled from this Primary Source kit. I have some ideas for these topics, but will also base them on the students' interests as demonstrated on their KWL charts.

Final art project (and to break-up oral presentations over three days): make our own 2-D sarcophagi including cartouche and burial masks.

Additional resources which I'll soon have linked on my class web page and might use during this unit:

Mummies of Ancient Egypt
Artifacts
Gift of the Nile
BBC Ancient Egypt (includes two great interactive activities)

Please let me know if this compilation of resources and unit outline is useful. The process of putting a unit together is important, as it forces you to think through the interaction of literacy and content goals as well as sift through lots and lots of resources and activity ideas to select the ones you think will work best for you and your students. Also, feel free to recommend additional ideas or resources.

2008-07-28T11:42:00.002-06:00

Brendan Buckley's Universe and Everything in It by Sundee T. Frazier

Brendan, according to his gram is "chocolate milk"---chocolate from his dad and milk from his mom. He's a good kid with a good stable family. One day when he's walking around the mall with his gram he sees this old man at a table full of rocks. He strikes up a conversation but when his gram happens up on them she goes bezerk. Turns out the old man is his grandfather, his mom's father, who he's never met. His other grandpa recently passed away and so Bren is determined to learn more about his grandpa and to find out why they've never met.

Strong writing. Nice amount of allusions to things like the internet and video games---makes the setting and story more real, but not over the top. Just part of the story.

The only thing I didn't love was the ending. A little bit too After School Special-ish for my tastes, but those feel-good-endings were my tastes as an 11 year old, so there ya go.

thinking

2008-07-24T15:54:00.005-06:00

I found this very cool letter/picture tool via Sarah, via Two Writing Teachers. What a fun app.

Spell with flickr.

About audience....

I read Seedfolks a few days ago. It was published during this window from about 1990-2001 when I wasn't such a huge reader of kit lit. I know, I know. I missed a lot of great books during those eleven years. But I read a lot of good adult books during that time and, among other pursuits, I also finished high school and college.

At first I was set to buy 8 copies because it seemed like really rich material, perfect for literature groups next year (which i'm determined to have more often). But...there was a tug of doubt in the back of my mind, a tug full of constantly percolating questions, like, how many kid readers do I know who will actually like this? find it painfully boring? hate it? I never bat 100 when answering these kinds of questions, but just asking them means I don't believe Seedfolks has nearly enough kid appeal. Not only is the plot boring (i believe, for 12-year-olds) and lack any real, dramatic conflict, there also isn't enough sustained character development, and the book is painfully didactic. I liked the feel good "we-can-overcome-stereotypes-and-form-communities" message, but there are lots of other books with similar themes, many of which don't hit you over the head with it AND have enough "kid appeal" to keep my student readers enthusiastic about their reading assignments.

It's such a balancing act: teaching books with content worth investing classroom time and also finding books with the illusive ingredient: kid appeal. But my barometer for finding such books is at least somewhat reliable. Earlier this summer I read more Horrowitz Horror, and I knew these scary stories were oozing kid appeal. So I ordered the original Horrowitz Horror, and the sequel. This afternoon I was eavesdropping on my high-schooler as she very dramatically retold one of these deliciously dark tales to a friend on the phone.

finished with Egypt, for now

2008-07-10T20:52:00.009-06:00

I'm just learning another reason it's good to be a Site Teacher Educator for the University or Utah. (That means I am a teacher who hosts student teachers. ) I am motivated to get tedious but critical work done early, so that I will be prepared to teach the budding teacher. Today I finished my "backward design" unit for Ancient Egypt and it's very good. It not only looks nice, but it also has clear objectives, interesting essential questions, and engaging activities. You see, I've gotta make sure my new student teacher will have a model of what I want him to help me do for our next two social studies units, one on Ancient Greece and one on The Silk Road. And I want to be very clear about what I expect for the units he'll be planning by himself for the three months he's going to be in charge.

Science and social studies are my least favorite subjects to teach, but being well planned does wonders for *my* engagement.

And I really love the backward design curriculum planning model. It helps me think about process and content and "big ideas" all at once. I made a one-page unit planning template that I'm going to use (or have my student teacher use) for most of the science and social studies units for the year.

Radio West Summer Reading

2008-07-09T16:12:00.002-06:00

Doug Fabrizio hosts a "summer book show" on my favorite local radio program.

The consensus from our local bookselllers: high gas prices and a sluggish economy are good for book sales.

Cool.

My New Hero

2008-07-08T09:27:00.009-06:00

Kate Braestrup is a UU minister for the search and rescue troopers and game wardens in Maine. I heard her interviewed by Krista Tippets last week on Speaking of Faith and now I simply can't get enough of her amazing theology. She articulates a way of being a faith filled person that is entirely centered on love between humans. I'm excited to read her book, Here If You Need Me.

Sharing with you this particular video of Kate talking about her husband Drew, the stern state trooper and gay rights advocate, is my feeble response to the involvement of the LDS church in the California ballot initiative. I still claim a tenuous affiliation with mormonism, and I have been so disappointed and sad since learning of the church's formal involvement in California. I don't believe it's wrong for them to take political stands or get involved in the political process. In fact, I think they have a responsibility to do so. But they are definitely on the wrong side here.

Summer Fun

2008-07-03T23:48:00.002-06:00

Our last day of summer school was today. Maybe next year I'm going to look for something else, besides teaching, to do during the weekdays all summer. I go a bit batty just staying home, but I was so ready to not be teaching after two weeks of summer school. Which means that for half of summer school, those students of mine didn't have a very enthusiastic, happy teacher. It's also hard to bond with kids you're only with for sixteen days. Oh well.

I'm not going back to my classroom until August 12th. I've already finished gathering 120 poems. More than half are from the Nancie Atwell book Naming the World. The rest I scavenged up from books, anthologies, and Poetry Friday blog posts. I am so much fussier about the poems I share with students than I am about books. If a poem is at all obtuse or coy or flaunts its diction, I won't teach it. I am so determined not to squelch the playful, joyful deliciousness of good poetry, that I won't risk teaching poems that I don't love. The format that Nancie uses in Naming the World to teach the poems is also quite powerful. I feel excited and ready to teach poetry next year.

Making a Family

2008-06-25T18:35:00.008-06:00

You don't get much closer than this book to the story of my three daughters and the bizarre circumstances that made us a family.

About the book: Abela is a nine-year-old girl in Tanzania who loses her dad, her mum, and finally her baby sister to the sickness that shall not be named, which continues to ravage the continent. There are scenes of Abela at her mum's side, during mum's death, and they are sad, sad, sad. But despite the horrible tragedy of her family, Abela wants to live and grow. She, in fact, chooses to live.

Meanwhile, Rosa, a thirteen year-old English girl, cannot understand why her mom is considering adopting another kid. Isn't she enough? Haven't she and her mom always been splendidly close?

These two stories don't come together until the end of the book, but come together they do. I wish I'd known, before reading the book, that the beginning of this new family wouldn't occur until the end of the book. It was inevitable that they would come together and I was very anxious to see how things would work out.

I've been reimagining this blog as of late. Goodreads has come to serve the main purposes for which I originally intended this blog space. I catalog, review, and record every book I read over there. I'm not really sure yet how this blog will evolve. Maybe it will become a focused place for both teacherly and motherly reflections?? We shall see. We shall see.

Two Favorite Math Activities

2008-06-23T21:35:00.007-06:00

The first one is a game. You need coins: pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. Plastic or paper coins both work fine. And you also need a partner and one six sided die. The game is super easy to learn, and pretty easy for most kids to play.

Put all the coins in the middle, this is the "bank"
Take turns rolling the die
Whatever number you roll, that's how many pennies you get from the bank
Whenever you can, trade your coins in for higher valued coins. You have to say the words, "I can trade (number) _______s for (number) ________. For example: "I can trade two nickels for one dime."
The first player that can trade in for a quarter is the WINNER.

There's lots of wiggle room in this game for different levels of math thinking. If I have seven cents and roll a 3, I can just give the bank my seven cents and take out a dime. But if I'm not ready to see why that would work, I can take three pennies, and then make the trade. I especially like the required talking in this game, which is helpful for kids still learning coin values, and is also good for reinforcing the mathematical thinking that's happening as kids become more sophisticated at quickly trading up their coins.

Variations: roll two dice and/or declare the winner as the first person to reach 1 dollar.

Another one of my all time favorite math activities is skip counting around a circle or down a line and finding shortcuts to figure out what number we'll end on. When you skip count by 25 you can put everyone in the circle into groups of 4 and quickly figure out what number we'll end on by counting the groups of 4 as worth 100 each, just like counting quarters. Counting by big numbers like 500 or 5000 helps expand students' understanding of place value and scale. And counting by 1/2 or 1/3 helps with both adding and eventually multiplying fractions. Every skip counting exercise can be connected to a multiplication and division problem. To manage this activity I let the kids know who will be first and what we'll be counting by. I always say "Zero" and then the first kid says whatever number we're counting by. If somebody says the wrong number, we start over. If anybody is side-talking, we start over. The repetition helps the kids find and remember patterns, and they have to pay attention so they know what number to say on their turn.

Our district just adopted a new math text book. At first I was pretty upset, cuz I've loved the Investigations materials I've used for the last six years. I've always supplemented the Investigations program, of course, but the activities in the fourth, fifth, and sixth grade materials were perfect for getting kids to develop a solid framework of mathematical concepts and relationships which leads to strong number sense and problem solving abilities. I'm not upset these days, though, cuz I've come to see every new textbook as just another "resource" and I'm still the artist that puts it altogether.

Cool Resource

2008-06-15T13:04:00.004-06:00

Teachers can register for free and then access and download lots and lots of videos and other resources at this very cool site:

http://www.teachersdomain.org/

There are video clips on all kinds of science and social studies topics. And did I mention it's all free? I've got a bunch of those "YOU TRY IT" clips from the PBS program ZOOM already to go for next fall.

48 Hour Wrap and Summer Plans Meme

2008-06-08T17:16:00.006-06:00

First. I'm throwing in the towel an hour and a half early. It's 5:20 on Sunday evening, here in Salt Lake City, and I just finished the last book I'm going to read for the 48 Hour Reading Challenge. Here's my summary.

Books finished:

Game, by Walter Dean Myers
Greetings from Nowhere, by Barbar O'Connor
Yellow Star, by Jennifer Roy
Teaching for Comprehending and Fluency, by Fountas & Pinnell
No Good Deed, by Laura Lippman
more Horowitz HORROR, by Anthony Horowitz
An Inmate's Daughter, by Jan Walker
Smiles to Go, by Jerry Spinelli
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's, by John Elder Robison

So that's 9 books. About 1,278 pages, when you don't count the pages I'd read in a few of these well before my 48 Hour start time, and I totaled about 10 hours of reading.

The best of these nine books, that I'm very happy to have read this weekend: Yellow Star, Smiles to Go, and Horowitz Horror. The Laura Lippman mystery was also a great, adult indulgence.

Second. Franki and Mary Lee at A Year of Reading have officially started the Summer Goals meme. Ironic, that they noticed my ramblings in the last post and decided to go ahead and get this meme going. I'm on record as being officially against most kinds of goal setting, (eternally lazy manatee taoist that I strive so hard to be). but... well.... The grandest joy of summer, for me, is traipsing around in the wilderness of new ideas and growing a vision for next year's teaching. A little bit of direction in this summer splashing gives me a boost of energy and some useful plans and blueprints come September.

So, this summer I plan to:

fill one writer's notebook with seeds from both the Lucy Calkins Units of Writing books and from the Nancie Atwell book for middle schoolers called Lessons That Change Writers
gather 120 poems to share with my class next year, from a very wide variety of sources.
select 12 powerful short stories to use as texts for guided reading groups
organize my classroom library, and try to scrounge up a nice new bookshelf or two
sift through the amazing array of resources recently posted by Tricia at Open Wide, Look Inside
outline units for: Microbes, Ancient Egypt, Space, and Ancient Greece
write two more DonorsChoose project grants
plan (not necessarily write) 20 new booktalks
browse around leisurely and find out what new resources are available at Read, Write, Think and through our new math textbook publisher
Reread Lifetime Guarantees, and Radical Reflections

That's more than enough to keep me satisfied and productive. I'm also flying to Fresno in August for a poolside read-a-thon with my sister and her girlfriend and some other new friends who I only currently know via Twitter. We will all be reading the best book that has ever been written, which I'll be reading for about my eighth time: The Brothers K, by David James Duncan.

I tag Sarah, at The Reading Zone, for this one, (when your school year is finished).

Yes---Summer is so very, very sweet.

48 Hr. Update

2008-06-07T18:14:00.004-06:00

I've slept a lot, and read a lot.

Books finished:

Teaching for Comprehending and Fluency, by Fountas & Pinnell
Smiles to Go, by Jerry Spinelli
More Horowitz Horror, by Anthony Horrowitz
An Inmate's Daughter, by Jan Walker
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

There are blurbs on all of these over at goodreads. I'm almost at my halfway mark. I won't be sleeping as much in the next 24 hours of this endeavor. But I don't think I'll be setting any reading records, either.

I am feeling ready for the "whatcha gonna learn and think about this summer" meme to start making the rounds. Especially the Teaching for Comprehending and Fluency book made me want to start a list of summer goals. I know, I know. Breathe. Take a break. But summer dreaming and learning is one of my most favorite parts of the yearly teaching cycle.

48 Hour Read-A-Thon, GO

2008-06-06T18:48:00.004-06:00

I am still recovering from an "all-nighter" this week. I spent almost all of Tuesday night creating and burning 30 copies of the 2008 Washington 6th Grade Video. I love iMovie, but making a movie is a very intense process. Our "Sixth Grade Promotion" was Wednesday morning and it was quite beautiful. Lots and lots of tears. They were such a great bunch and I will really, really miss them.

I am relieved that it's finally summer, though. I'm teaching 16 fourth and fifth graders for four weeks of summer school starting Monday, but the whole set up and curriculum and everything is very low key. It's some extra money and a nice way to get my own 10-year-old daughter some solid, structured summer learning time.

This weekend is MotherReader's 48 Hour Read-A-Thon. I am probably still going to be catching up on some sleep and reveling in the official start of summer, so I'm not aiming too high on the contest side of this event. But I am still participating and I'm starting my official clock now. 7:02 p.m. Utah Time.

Spirituality and Reading

2008-05-19T23:12:00.000-06:00

From an interview on Speaking of Faith:

"You know, we don’t usually think of reading as a spiritual exercise, but I think it is, because in order to hear a story you have to quiet yourself, and you have to empathize with the characters in the story. And isn’t empathy part of the spiritual life? Isn’t quietude part of the spiriitual life?

And you also discover in the story that you don’t have control. You might like the characters to do one thing or another. You might wish they would make one decision or another. But you can’t control the situation. And part of the spiritual life is learning that we are not always in control.

Also, if we are truly listening then all the details matter. It matters what the color of her hair is or what he’s wearing or what the time of day is. Paying attention to the details of life is part of a spiritual life.""

-Sandi Sasso

Series Series Series

2008-05-18T22:13:00.005-06:00

My students read lots of series. Some of my students' favorites this year have been: the Twilight series, the Uglies, Pretties, and Specials series, the Warriors series, the Deltora series, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series, the Cirque Du Freak series, the Percy Jackson series and the Hank Zipzer series. Yeh, my kids are all over the map on both their reading and interest levels.

I don't have any questions about the value of reading series. Of course I know they're rarely spectacular literature, but they hook kids into reading, build their vocabulary and fluency, and I think they're actually quite wonderful for my kids who are still mastering English because they are fairly predictable and you don't have to learn new characters and settings for each book. A Children's Literature professor once had us put our heads down and answer two questions: Did you read series books as a kid? Are you an avid reader today? Usually, adults who answer yes to one question, answer yes to both.

For the series that my students love I often wonder how many books in each series I ought to read. I like to be able to talk to my students about the books they're reading, but I can usually only handle one or two books per series, and once I've read enough to "hook" my kid readers, I don't feel motivated to read the entire series myself. What about you?

Also, what are some of your favorite series, or ones that are big hits with kids you know?

A Getting to Know Me MEME

2008-05-12T21:03:00.003-06:00

A fun meme from Megan at Read, Read, Read.

What were you doing ten years ago?

I was looking forward to coming home after being in the Philippines for 16 months.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
1. scan baby pics of 6th graders for the promotion video
2. brainstorm and research great speeches for same promotion event
3. turn in form to order sack lunches for two year-end field trips
4. read with Easter
5. grade spelling tests
6. conceive

What are some snacks you enjoy?

Haagen Daaz Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream
blueberry muffins
Dove chocolates with almonds
Hot Cheetoes
oranges
taquitoes

What would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Take my girls to Disneyland
3. Make a college scholarship fund for all my students
4. have a bigger classroom library
5. pay to develop roads, hospitals, and schools in Yei, a village in South Sudan

What are three of your bad habits?
1. impatience
2. leaving lights on
3. being unorganized

What are five places where you have lived?
1. West Bountiful, Utah
2. Centerville, Utah
3. Salt Lake City, Utah
4. In the WIND RIVER MOUNTAINS in Wyoming
5. In the WASATCH MOUNTAINS above Park City, Utah

What are five jobs you have had?
1. Teacher
2. Physics TA
3. Boys and Girls Club Director
4. Bookseller
5. Babysitter

What six people do you want to tag?
Um, whoever wants to respond!

May Blooms

2008-05-09T18:17:00.007-06:00

We've had a helluva winter here in Salt Lake City. Snow storm, after snow storm. I swear, I woke up to find my tulips dusted with snow flakes just two weeks ago. But we've finally landed on the other side of the gigantic winter chasm and spring is really, truly here to stay.

This week we've also landed on the happy (read: FINISHED) side of all of our high-stakes testing. And we did fine. Just fine.

This is a really satisfying time of the year with a class of sixth-grade students. They've worked so hard, all year, and they're still learning each day, but not with the same stress-filled urgency as a month ago. They are a community of friends and peers who know how to be gentle and kind with one another and as long as they don't get completely overwhelmed by their fears of middle school they constantly delight in finishing off both a good year and a whole life season as they say goodbye to elementary school. These days my students are making memoir collages, still reading lots and lots of great books, building toothpick bridges, looking forward to field trips and year-end rituals, and solving interesting math puzzles.

Me? I can't help it. I always start dreaming about next year during May: day-dreaming, imagining forward, growing a vision of how things will be. This summer I can't wait to dive into the Nancie Atwell Writing Workshop materials that I recently received. And, I'm really looking forward to MotherReader's 48 Hour Book Challenge, which is coming up the weekend of June 6 - June 8, 2008. I've started a list of books to read and I'm trying to temper my fierce competitiveness.

I'm also posting lots of book blurbs over at GoodReads.

Happy May, y'all.

Six More Weeks

2008-04-20T19:11:00.013-06:00

I really can't believe this school year is almost over. Our high stakes testing starts Tuesday. I'm actually looking forward to the math tests. I find teaching the grade level math core to all kids a more straightforward and easy endeavor than teaching reading and writing. It's less messy and the year-end tests, I believe, are much more indicative of what the students have learned all year. I think this is the first time I've discussed math instruction on this blog, but if you know me in real life, you already know---I love math, and I really love teaching math. Growing up with amazing math instruction (at home) and then getting an incredible physics teacher in high school were two of the reasons I decided to become a teacher myself. Teaching math, for me, is the kind of work where my instincts take over and I just get totally immersed and know where to go next, both with the whole class and with individual kids.

In December I wrote a Donors Choose proposal for $500 of math manipulatives, and it was funded this month. My new proposal is for book sets for Literature Circles.

Here's a very cool tool my brother found for math teachers or mathematicians at any level:
Wolfram Demonstrations Project. You have to download the player first, and then when you download the open source math visualization files you can interact with them.

I am hitting my wall in writing workshop right now. I don't know how to keep it going for another six weeks. My mind is already on next year and I just don't have the energy left to pull off a strong memoir unit. I'm tempted to just let all the good work we've done this year be enough. Hopefully I'll find a way to keep it going. I've been trying to come up with ways to let a poetry compilation be our memoirs, but I don't know how to stay ahead of that game. I had some lofty ambitions of several things to pull together this weekend, but instead I worked in the yard and read and rested.

Oh yeah, the main reason my lamp oil is running so low is because we just finished our annual Shakespeare production. The sixth graders put on A Midsummer Night's Dream. It's such a wonderful, magical thing---putting on a play like this, but it also takes a ton of work. By the way, one of the reasons I've really come to enjoy blogging is because I know I can say things like I've said in this post, especially about the work it takes to pull off a decent student theater production, and there will be teachers out there who UNDERSTAND. It feels so nice to be understood.

A final slice of goodness: Kadir Nelson wrote me back!

Tangerine, by Edward Bloor

2008-04-20T18:47:00.004-06:00

This is an excellent sixth grade book. It's a little bit slow, for the first twenty pages, which is why I abandoned it the first time I attempted to read it. However, I'm very glad I gave it a second chance. The pace really picks up and the story and characters are quite well done.

Paul learns many things in this story. He learns what really caused the damage to his eyes when he was young. He learns there are many more ways to live than in the gated, pricey communities he's always taken for granted. He learns to sit on the sidelines, to be a loyal friend, and to stand up for himself. He learns a lot about what kind of a person he wants to be, but here's the thing you've got to trust me on: these lessons are all very tightly woven in the fabric of a wonderful, believable story. There's no explicit moralizing or talking down to the reader. The narration is just Paul, writing in his journal, about a series of experiences that change him.

The plot includes race and class tensions, sibling hatred, less than perfect parents, a couple horrible deaths, and several great soccer games. The resolution is satisfying and the setting (Florida citrus tree lands) is like a subtle but strong character. Lucky for me, Washington has a class set of this book, which I'm looking forward to reading with my sixth graders next year.

Comfort Books

2008-04-04T17:37:00.004-06:00

I've been sick for almost three days. Fever. Stomach ache. And a constant head ache. Maybe it's exhaustion. I don't know. As usual, I still worked, while sick, until this morning. This morning I came home around 11 a.m., crawled in bed, and have been sleeping and reading all day.

I started reading Waiting for Normal around 1 p.m. and I'm almost finished. Hunkering down in bed with such a wonderful book feels just like getting warm milk and toast prepared for my sick body by my gentle mom. So comforting.

In fact, reading it is much more pleasant than being on the internet, so, I'll just say this: it's realistic fiction. The main girl character is 12 and her life is sad and poor, but she's blossoming anyway.

Also, I started Painting the Wind, by Pam Munoz Ryan, and it was so good I didn't want it to end, so I stopped after about six chapters. And so now I'll have even more comfort reading for later this evening.

Sweethearts, by Sara Zarr

2008-03-28T19:47:00.009-06:00

Sweethearts reminded me a bit of Fighting For Ruben Wolfe and I Am the Messenger, because it felt much more mature than lots of young adult literature; right at that crossroads into adult fiction. It wasn't mature because of any explicit content. It was the particular types of problems and the way the characters responded to things. It was all more on the adult side of the adolescent galaxy, the side where questions can stay open, where people are impossibly complex, and where resolutions aren't tidy.

This is a story about a girl and boy who were best friends in late elementary school. They were both the "losers" of the class and had a very deep and tremendously strong bond. Cameron disappears one day and Jennifer, who later turns herself into Jenna, has to figure out how to go on without him. She ends up abandoning the self she was at that time of her life and when Cameron shows up again when she's seventeen, Jennifer/Jenna has to figure out how to honor both their friendship and the little girl she tried so hard to bury.

This was a great read. Not really for most middle-schoolers, though. I just don't think they'd really get it. Also, I hate the cover. It doesn't even begin to represent anything meaningful about the story.

Phone Call From Cameroon

2008-03-18T20:41:00.007-06:00

"Hello...??"
"Are you there?"
"Yes, it's us! Hi Lauren. I'm going to put you on speaker phone."
"Great."
"Okay, my whole class can you hear you now. How is Cameroon?"

A reverent silence descended on the room. And then, for about ten minutes, our very own Peace Core Volunteer partner spoke to us. My students raised their hands and asked many urgent questions: What animals do you see? What's the worst disease there? Are you getting homesick? Did you get our letters?

Her answers were so clear and patient and loving.

I ended the call by telling her the truth: we are so proud that she is representing our country in this capacity.

I've been thinking a lot lately about moral education and about teaching children ethics. I never thought such subjects would be all that important to me, as a teacher, but I'm coming to believe that digging for answers to the question, "How should I live my life?" is at the heart of much of my work with children. I come at this question from lots of angles, and hardly ever head-on. For example, we have a class motto that we repeat often: WORK HARD! BE NICE! (ROCK ON! was added by the kids this year.) My classroom management system is entirely based on making thoughtful choices. I have a growing repertoire of "little lectures" that are useful ways to illustrate important moral lessons about such topics as the harmful effects of gossip and the strength it requires to walk away from a fight.

Partnering with Lauren this year, however, has been my very favorite way to quietly teach my students to become more thoughtful young people. In September, before she left, Lauren visited our class. We all remember this young, nervous woman who left the shelter of her home less than two days after she visited us. And now her whole life is completely devoted to caring for other people. Hearing from her often and writing her letters has led us to think about people in another part of the world. It's helped us imagine our own futures as people who will work hard to help others. I want my students to continue becoming people who are kind and moral. I love having a partnership that so effortlessly helps all of us stretch in that direction.

My Breakfast Platter

Amy and Mike Update for 2011

Be Brave and Be Kind

Merry December

Five Ways to Adore Blue Panda

A Blue December

November Joys

So. Much. Fun.

Ahhhh

Little Dragons

Summer 2011 Gratitudes

Blue Panda Holy Writings, Chapter 2

Book Club Picks

Fun News

blue panda scriptures

Little and Big Gratitudes

Friday Five

2011

Memorial

Classroom Beginnings in 2010

The Outlandish Adventures of Liberty Aimes

today I am listening to my own sermon....

Mike Rose's Words for New Teachers

Deep Down in a Writing Cave

Marriage and Other Acts of Charity

Summer Fun

Soothing Voices

Buttermilk Pancakes

Small Actions

Faeries of Dreamdark

keep on reading

Stepping Word Stones

Choclate Chip Cookies and Beef Stew

All the SCHOLAR ladies

a little poet

pink and red and shades of green

new gratitudes

Tapioca Pudding

Shaping My Year

Pumpkin Crumble Cake

late night trains

Communication, Cooperation, and Choices

Telling True Stories

Poetry In the Class, Episode 2

Poetry in the Classroom, Episode 1

Fall Gratitudes

The Hour I First Believed

Fields of Sunflowers

Gratitude List

Keeping Me

Things that make me say, "hmmmmmmm"

Skittles

I *am* the Momma

Spring Break

Finding the Funny

On Our Own

A List

In Like a Lion

a poem by me

My Nerd Profile

Bird, Lake, Moon by Kevin Henkes

Lagoon, by Easter Simbe

Life on the Donkey Ranch

lucky joyful birthday find

Prayer Candles and Gratitude Stones

Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli

2009 BABY

Endings and Beginnings

Reading Journals

Poetry, Like Bread, is for Everyone

Elvis and Olive

7 Things I Adore About this Class

Teaching Priorities

full throttle

My Summer Ends

Home Visits

Making Good Use of Volunteers--how??

Read-A-Thon Musings

Memoir Monday

Ancient Egypt Unit

I am the Momma