Friday, April 24, 2009

I *am* the Momma

In case this ends up in official court records I just want to be clear, I am doing everything possible to prevent my youngest daughter from ever being incarcerated. I love her to pieces, do my best every single day to teach her to make thoughtful choices, and I give her lots of very powerful little lectures about her future. But, if you've ever met my youngest child you also understand why it's good that I've already dealt with the possibility that she might not follow all of her momma's excellent advice.

Here's the thing, my one source of comfort in the midst of some awful storms: Despite the strong and prolonged efforts by ex and his family to convince my daughters that I am basically "a stranger", that I'm basically nothing important or real in their lives---despite all this and despite their predictably torn responses to it, I still know one thing. Regardless of how all this immediate stuff gets sorted out, deep deep down in my heart I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the first time my baby is in jail, it is *ME* she's gonna call first. "Mom---I can't call uncle," she'll say through her choking sobs. And I'll respond, "I know baby, I know. I'm on my way."

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Spring Break

I had the entire week of Spring Break on my own, in my house. Here are a few things I do just cuz I *can* when I'm alone in the house: drink milk from the carton, walk around the house in my bra and panties all morning, eat ice cream for dinner and eat breakfast cereal for lunch. I still made my bed every day, kept the house very clean, and took a shower each morning. I had one day there when I didn't feel like getting out of bed, but that storm blew over and I mostly enjoyed the down time.

Back to school tomorrow--with full energy and fuel to go six more weeks.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Finding the Funny

Gotta dig deeper to find the funny in all the emotions and drama these days, but it's what keeps my head above water.

Easter used remarkably accurate spelling in the rant she wrote about me. "WITCH" was spelled correctly every time.

Clara used a line that sounded like an echo of me in texting her friend regarding how she'd respond if that boy used our house key to sneak in at night: "i haz weapons"

That boy was scared enough of me when I answered Clara's phone to return said house key to my hand within 5 minutes of speaking with him. And he was also scared enough to refuse to show me his driver's license.

Easter instant messaged Lisa and said, "you cannot put this on twitr," about their secret escapade hanging out at West High. (which was how they got caught)

None of them have said these words out loud yet, but I've got my spirit and emotions steeled and ready for "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!!!!!" Shrug. Okay. Now get your homework and chores done my darlins.

Clara got a very fitting introduction to my crazy friend Rebecca in the office at Washington. They had a heated exchange of words that involved Rebecca mocking a little and Clara raging a little.

I made "Quotes of the Week" for the first time evah, and, okay fine, the pleasure of this was extra sweet cuz my sister didn't make it this week:

When provoked, I'm strong enough to smash my bathroom door all the way through the door frame. And to also make the plastic light cover fall off the ceiling. And both of these things are quite easily fixed.

The girls were the first to joke about how many body guards I need to take when I taxi them to Sudanese Church choir practice.

Don't worry too much. We're still all doing fine. What doesn't kill us just makes us stronger. Just keep all those prayers a-comin.